Answer submissions for Part 1 / Questions 1-5

**Yannick** · Subject: Score & Feedback for Lindaxu Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:05 am

lindaxu wrote:

1. There are a lot of cars and people in front of the airport terminal.

2. Shadowed by skyscrapers on both sides of it, the street looks so narrow and dark.

3. I guess, these people are talking about the funny movie which is just on the air yesterday.

4. The vegetables look very fresh in the farm market.

5. The man looks so frustrated, looking at his watch, as the train comes much later than that on its schedule.

Hello Lindaxu, and thank you for attempting Part 1 of onlinenglish’s TOEIC writing test.

This section (Q. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Take into account that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 12

Your scores for each question:
1. 3/3
2. 3/3
3. 2/3
4. 2/3
5. 2/3

Possible corrections

3. I guess these people are talking about the funny movie which aired last night.

4. The vegetables look very fresh at the farmer’s market.

5. The man looks so frustrated, looking at his watch, as the train comes much later than scheduled.

Additional aid

I applaud your effort in trying to make nice complex sentences, but at this point I would advise you to stick to simple constructions. This is because in the first section you lose a point the moment there is an error in your sentence.

I would avoid making inferences, as you have done with question 3. Your sentence is very creative, but it does not reflect the picture accurately. For example, if you had written “On a warm day, four people are standing outside a building talking about something.” The sentence isn’t as creative as yours yet it represents the picture accurately.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net

**Yannick** · Subject: Score & Feedback for Janice Thu Oct 25, 2007 3:44 am

Janice wrote:

1.In the Front of the Airport terminal, i see a flag raised on a flag pole.
2.Both sides of the street is parked with so many cars.
3.People near the window is having a meeting.
4.Both the man and the women in the market picked the very fresh vegetable.
5. As the train arrives, the man takes a glimpse at his watch.

Hello Janice. Thank you for attempting Part 1 of onlinenglish’s TOEIC writing test.

This section (Q. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Take into account that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 10

Your scores for each question:
1. 2/3
2. 2/3
3. 2/3
4. 1/3
5. 3/3

Possible corrections

1. In front of the airport terminal, I see a flag raised on a flag pole.

2. Both sides of the street are lined with so many parked cars.

3. People near the window are having a meeting.

4. Both, the man and the woman in the market, pick very fresh vegetables

Additional aid

Be aware of capitalization. Sentence one has 3 errors dealing with capitalization.

Look for subject/verb agreement. This is a problem with sentence two and three. “both sides … is…” and “People … is…”

Keep your sentences in the present tense. By writing in the past tense you are not focusing on the picture any longer. This is a problem with your fourth sentence. The people in the picture, did not choose anything, they are looking at or picking/choosing fresh vegetables.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net

**Dean** · Admin Posts: 14 Join date: 2007-10-02

AHMED wrote:

THIS IS A PICTURE OF AN AIRPORT TERMINAL FROM THE FRONT
SO THIS IS THE STREET WHERE YOU ARE STAYING
FOUR PEOPLES ARE TAKING ABOUT SOME TOPICS
THE MARKET IS VERY CROWDY.
I HAVE MISSED THE TRAIN AS I HAVE MISSED BEFORE.

Hello Ahmed. Thank you for attempting Part 1 of onlinenglish’s TOEIC writing test.

This section (Q. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Take into account that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 7

Your scores for each question:
1. 2/3
2. 2/3
3. 1/3
4. 1/3
5. 1/3

Possible corrections

1. This is a picture of the front of an airport terminal.
2. See below.
3. Four people are talking about a project.
4. See below.
5. I have missed the train as I have missed it before (see below).

Additional aid

I think that your sentences only offer little information about the pictures and you are not trying to infer or guess to much from what you see. This is evident in sentence number four which is very vague. Try to draw on your own knowledge to bring some more meaning to the pictures so you can write sentences which convey more meaning to the reader.

Please write the sentences with proper punctuation and capitalization. All your sentences are in capital letters and some do not have periods.

Sentence number 2 is something you would find more in spoken discourse rather that written. I would change the entire sentece.

For sentence number 4 you have written a sentence that really represents the background of the picture. It would be better to focus on the couple in the picture.

Your use of the word as in sentence five is not exactly clear. It reads like you are attempting to make a comparison in a rather poetic way, but I believe you are just attempting to refer to the man missing the train in the same manner. Adding it, seems to improve the clarity of the sentence. In addition, I do not agree that the man has missed the train because the train appears to be coming toward him.

I hope that these tips aid you in your preparation.

Dean

**Dean** · Admin Posts: 14 Join date: 2007-10-02

jorams wrote:

1. This is the font view of a typical airport terminal wherein you can see people and cars, come and go.
2. A red colored car parked in the street seems so obvious.
3. A group of people in front of the glass window is talking about a project.
4. The couple is picking potatoes just adjacent to the very ripe tomatoes at the market.
5. As the train approaches the station, the man can not help to look at his watch from time to time.

Hello Jorams. Thank you for attempting Part 1 of onlinenglish’s TOEIC writing test.

This section (Q. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Take into account that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 11

Your scores for each question:
1. 0/3
2. 3/3*
3. 3/3*
4. 2/3
5. 3/3

Possible corrections/suggestions

1.This is the front of a typical airport terminal where you can see people and cars come and go.
2. The red car parked on the street seems so obvious.
3. A group of people in front of a glass window is talking about a project.
4. A couple is picking the potatoes which are adjacent to the very ripe tomatoes at a stand in the market.
5. None.

Additional aid

In your first sentence you did not spell front correctly which completely changed the meaning of the sentence.

In your other sentences I am wondering about your use of the articles a and the in your second and third sentences. In the second sentence it reads as though the street is familiar to the writer but the car is not. In your third sentence it reads as though the glass window is somehow important because you use the definite article the, but the people and the topic are not very important because you use the indefinite article a. Your use of articles is fine, but I am wondering if you are aware how your use of articles has shaped the meaning of each sentence. If you are not, I suggest that you do some additional study on how articles function.

In your fourth sentence it is not clear whether or not the couple or the tomatoes are adjacent to the potatoes. In your sentence there could be two separate stands - one which offers tomatoes and one which offers potatoes. Also, notice how I have changed your use of articles in this sentence. Can you see how the articles shape the meaning in the sentence?

I hope that my tips help you.

Dean

**Yannick** · Subject: Feedback/Score for Ecrosari Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:07 am

ecrosari wrote:

There are cars in front of the airport terminal

2. There are few cars on the street, so there is no traffic.

3. The people in the lobby are talking about the theme of the workshop.

4. The vegetables in the market are very cheap.

5. The man is waiting for the train as it comes in.

Hello Ecrosari.
Thank you for attempting Part 1 of onlinenglish’s TOEIC writing test.

This section (Q. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Take into account that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 14/15

Your scores for each question:
1. 3/3
2. 3/3
3. 2/3
4. 3/3
5. 3/3

Possible corrections

3. The people standing in front of a building are talking about the theme of the workshop.

Additional Aid

Your sentence are very good, but try to stick to what you see in the picture. For example, there is nothing indicating that the vegetables are cheap.

a lobby = a vestibule or entrance hall

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net