Answer submissions for Part 1 / Questions 1-5

**Jason** · Last edited by on Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:29 am; edited 1 time in total

Please post your writing responses for the free online TOEIC writing test task (questions 1-5) here. You do not need to log in or register to post your writing, simply click on POSTREPLY.

Please answer all 5 questions in the one posting and number them 1-5.

Please allow at least a couple of days for an OnlinEnglish.net Administrator to view and respond to your task. Responses will be limited to a score and some generic comments targeting the areas you could improve in.

Good luck!

**Jason**

lmsanche wrote:

Question 1: The cab just drove thru the front of the airport terminal

Question 2: This street is so crowded

Question 3: These peopke are about to enter the building

Question 4: Mary and John are enyoing the market very much

Question 5: The train arrived as Mark check the time

Hi Imsanche, and thanks for trying out Part 1 of the TOEIC writing test.

This section (qu. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Bear in mind that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 10

Your scores for each question:
1. 2/3
2. 2/3
3. 2/3
4. 2/3
5. 2/3

Suggested corrections:

1. The cab just drove away from the front of the airport terminal.
2. This street is so crowded with cars.
3. These people are about to enter the building.
4. Mary and John are enjoying the market very much.
5. The train arrived as Mark checked the time.

Other tips:
Be careful to use periods (full stops) at the end of sentences.
Don't use careless spelling like "thru", "peopke" and "enyoing".
The word "crowded" by itself infers people, so if you want to use it with objects you need to state those objects - "crowded with cars".
Use consistent tense in sentences - if the train arrived (past tense), then you should also say "checked" (past tense).

Hope these tips helped you and good luck with TOEIC writing!

- Jason

**Jason**

maximus wrote:

1. There are several buses in the front of the airport terminal.
2. There are so many cars on the street.
3. People are talking about their work.
4. The couple are shopping something in the market and look very happy.
5. The train is just coming as the man is watching his watch.

Hi maximus, and thanks for trying out Part 1 of the TOEIC writing test.

This section (qu. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Bear in mind that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 12

Your scores for each question:
1. 3/3
2. 3/3
3. 2/3
4. 2/3
5. 2/3

Suggested corrections:

3. These people are talking about their work.
4. The couple are shopping for food at the market and look very happy.
5. The train is coming as the man is checking his watch.

Other tips:

In question 3, without a "the" or "these", saying just "people" infers all/any people in the world. You want to refer to the specific people in the picture.

We say "shopping for" + object.
Why say the couple are shopping (for) something when you can clearly see they are buying food? Be as specific to the picture as you can.

We usually use "just" with a perfect construction (the train has just come) to indicate recent time. Otherwise it can sound like an "only" action (there is just one train).

We say "check my/your/his/her watch". To "watch a watch" is grammatically possible, but sounds very strange and probably confusing for a native speaker.

Hope these tips helped you and good luck with TOEIC writing!

- Jason

**Jason**

ciccina wrote:

1 There were two buses in front of the airport terminal
2 The street was so small that we had to drive very carefully
3 Four people were talking about the meeting
4 They found a very cheap market
5 As I entered the station I saw the train arriving

Hi ciccina, and thanks for trying out Part 1 of the TOEIC writing test.

This section (qu. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Bear in mind that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 15

Your scores for each question:
1. 3/3
2. 3/3
3. 3/3
4. 3/3
5. 3/3

General tips:

I have given you full marks for these sentences, but I'm not exactly sure just how fussy the ETS markers are going to be with these tasks. You *may* get penalized a few points, based on these factors:

- You really should be entering a period (full stop) at the end of each of your sentences.

- Be careful using past tense when talking about current/"now" pictures. The pictures have a "here and now" feel about them and I would advise using present tense to reflect that.

- Be careful building too many inferences into your answers. In question 3, we have no evidence that a meeting has taken place, so I would recommend using "a" meeting to make it sound more general (not definite with "the"). In question 4, there is no evidence from the picture that the market is cheap.

- I'm not certain it is a good idea to put yourself or your actions into the pictures. I just worry that the markers might think you are building too much in the way of possible or inferred action. Personally I think that is creative and great, but to be safe and give yourself the best chances for perfect scores I would stick to describing what you can see, not what you can imagine.

Hope these tips helped you and good luck with TOEIC writing!

- Jason

**Yannick** · Subject: Score / Feedback for Yay Wed Oct 17, 2007 11:49 pm

Yay wrote:

1.the front of the airport terminal is conjuced with different types of transport vehicles.
2.the both side of the street is lined with so many cars.
3.the people near the window pane is discussing about something.
4.the couple in the market looks very choosy about their potatoes.
5.while waiting for the trian to arrive the man takes a glimpse at his wristwatch.

Hi Yay. Thank you for trying out Part 1 of the TOEIC writing test.

This section (qu. 1-5) is graded out of 15 points, with up to 3 points total for each of your sentences. Bear in mind that to get a perfect 3, your sentence must be grammatically correct, use correct spelling, use both word prompts, and have a clearly meaningful connection to the picture concerned.

Your total score for this section is: 10

Your scores for each question:
1. 2/3
2. 2/3
3. 2/3
4. 2/3
5. 2/3

Suggested corrections

1. The front of the airport is congested with different types of transport vehicles.
2. Both sides of the street are lined with so many cars.
3. The people by the window pane are discussing something.
4. The couple in the market looks very choosy about their potatoes.
5. While waiting for the train to arrive the man glimpses at his wristwatch.

Other Tips

Always begin a sentence with a capital letter.

The use of the word ‘congested’ may not be appropriate for the given example. The word means crowded, packed, overfilled not quite the picture you see. I would have used a word such as ‘busy’.

The definite article ‘the’ as many functions. The mistake in sentence 2 is that ‘the’ is used to represent one specific thing when in fact you are alluding to two things. The=1, both=2.

Subject verb agreement sentences 2 and 3. The people are.

We do not say that people are discussing about something because it becomes redundant.

Be as specific as possible. For instance, in sentence 5 you write ‘takes a glimpse at’ when you could have written glimpses at.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net