Answer Submission for Part 2 / Question 7

Guest

Hi Susan,

What a pleasant surprise! How do you do? I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with all of you. It has been ages since we last met.

I'm anxious to meet all of you, really. However, I'm afraid I can't get my car back on time for that dinner as it's badly damaged in a terrible accident last week. Could you give me a lift, please?

Furthermore, may I know what is the dress code of the dinner? Certainly I don't to be underdress or overdress.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Love,
Jie Li

Guest

Hi Susan,

Surely I remember you! it's been a while though, I'll be glad to attend the reunion.

would you be kind enough to send me through this e-mail add (BasicInstinct@yahoo.com) about when and where its going to be held?
One more thing Could ibring a friend with me?

hope to hear from you soon,

Best regards
Albert

**Yannick** · Subject: Score / Feedback for Jie Li Thu Oct 18, 2007 4:56 am

Jie Li wrote:

Hi Susan,

What a pleasant surprise! How do you do? I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with all of you. It has been ages since we last met.

I'm anxious to meet all of you, really. However, I'm afraid I can't get my car back on time for that dinner as it's badly damaged in a terrible accident last week. Could you give me a lift, please?

Furthermore, may I know what is the dress code of the dinner? Certainly I don't to be underdress or overdress.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Love,
Jie Li

Hello Jie Li. Thank you for submitting your writing effort for Q. 7 of the TOEIC test on onlinEnglish.net.

Part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points. To receive perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few grammar and spelling mistakes, and be using correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 3/4

I think this is a good attempt at the task. You would have scored a 3 for this effort. Had you developed your 2nd question further and used a more appropriate register for this email you could have scored a 4.

Methods to improve

My first advice concerns your first question. You are asking Susan for a lift to the graduation reunion, however as a re-introductory letter you shouldn’t be, so personal. At the moment I find it hard to believe that you are both on friendly terms. A question of this nature would appear in a second or third email correspondence between the two of you.

Secondly, I would refrain from using ‘love’ as a complimentary closing for the same reason as mentioned above.

Finally, instead of writing “underdress or overdress”, you should write formal, semi-casual or casual dressing.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net

**Yannick** · Subject: Score / Feedback for Yay Fri Oct 19, 2007 12:06 am

yay wrote:

Hi Susan,

Surely I remember you! it's been a while though, I'll be glad to attend the reunion.

would you be kind enough to send me through this e-mail add (BasicInstinct@yahoo.com) about when and where its going to be held?
One more thing Could ibring a friend with me?

hope to hear from you soon,

Best regards
Albert

Hello Yay, and thank you for partaking in the 2nd part of the TOEIC test with onlinEnglish.net. You have submitted question 7.

Part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points. To receive perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few grammar and spelling mistakes, and be using correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 3/4

I like the way you approached the task. Your introductory sentence is clear and the tone and register you use are appropriate

Areas for improvement

For starters, develop your email. The difference between a score of 3 and a score of 4 in this case is how well you develop your reply. It does not need to be an entire page, but I would be looking at roughly half a page of writing.

Moving on, you need to address your problem with capitalization. Remember to always start a sentence with a capital letter.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net

Guest

Dear Susan,

Thanks for the invitation to our 15 year graduation reunion. And thanks for orginizing the reunion for us. Yes I do remember you. We were in the same vollyball team back then. I miss those old silly days. It was fun, wasn't it?

Yes I'd like to be in this reunion. I promise I won't miss it for the whole world. I have some questions about it: How much do we need to contribute? Where is the location? And when will it hold?

By the way, do you need some extra help? If so, do not hesitate to let me know.

Look forward to seeing you!