Answer Submission for Part 2 / Question 7

**Jason** · Last edited by on Wed Oct 17, 2007 1:30 am; edited 1 time in total

Please post your writing responses for the free online TOEIC writing test task (question 7) here. You do not need to log in or register to post your writing, simply click on POSTREPLY.

Please answer the writing prompt in 10 minutes or less.

Please allow at least a couple of days for an OnlinEnglish.net Administrator to view and respond to your task. Responses will be limited to a score and some generic comments targeting the areas you could improve in.

Good luck!

Guest

Susan.. hello... long time no see...
It is really good to hear from you and to know that you are orginizing such an event. Congrats... your are the one for that.

I am surely attending the the reunion but please let me know when and where it will be held since i have to be prepared. You can send the information to my e-mail address.

Thank you so much for writting and SEE YA.......

lizbeth

Guest

From: Henna Lee
To: Susan Summers
Subject: Hi! Susan
How are you? I am so glad to hear from you. I really want to go there and see you guys. Where will the reunion be opened? and what date?
Can you forward the direction map to me? I look forward to seeing you guys.

Henna

**Yannick** · Subject: Score / Feedback for Imsanche Sat Oct 13, 2007 2:31 am

lmsanche wrote:

Susan.. hello... long time no see...
It is really good to hear from you and to know that you are orginizing such an event. Congrats... your are the one for that.

I am surely attending the the reunion but please let me know when and where it will be held since i have to be prepared. You can send the information to my e-mail address.

Thank you so much for writting and SEE YA.......

lizbeth

Hello Imsanche. Thank you for submitting your writing effort for Q. 7 of the TOEIC test.

Part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points. To receive perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few grammar and spelling mistakes, and be using correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 2/4

You would score 2 due to your spelling and grammar mistakes as well as the register used. I would stick to writing in a more formal manner, with some friendly words included into the letter.

Tips for improvement

1) Punctuation. Ellipsis or suspension points '...' are used to show that you are omitting a word or phrase necessary for a complete syntactical construction but not necessary for understanding. Your use of the ellipsis is unwarranted for the 2 first occurrences and inaccurate for the 3rd occurrence. You should simply be placing a period. Furthermore the following are not punctuation marks '..' '.......'

2) Lexicon. The vocabulary you are using is inappropriate for an email of this nature. The email is very impersonal which indicates that this is more of a formal email. There is no use of slang in the letter nor is there any indication that the two of you were or are friends. The use of the word ‘classmate’ might have thrown you off. In this instance, classmate has more of an acquaintance resonance than friendship. Therefore, you should not use slang in your writing ‘SEE YA’.

3) Format. As indicted above this email is formal, hence you should be replying in a more formal manner. Opening separated from the rest of the text, and a closing.

4) Capitalization and spelling.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net

**Yannick** · Subject: Score / Feedback for Henna Sun Oct 14, 2007 6:40 am

maximus wrote:

From: Henna Lee
To: Susan Summers
Subject: Hi! Susan
How are you? I am so glad to hear from you. I really want to go there and see you guys. Where will the reunion be opened? and what date?
Can you forward the direction map to me? I look forward to seeing you guys.

Henna

Hello Henna. Thank you for submitting question 7 of the TOEIC writing section.

As you may know, part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points.

To receive a perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few to no grammar and spelling errors, and be using the correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 2/4

For this question I would score you a 2 out of 4. You answer the prompts, but you do nothing to develop your response, and that is a very important point to get a score of 4.

Tips to help improve
1)Explain the "why" to your questions. Don’t just state them. This point is the big difference between a 3 and a 4.

2)Make your introductory paragraph polite and friendly. This can be one or two lines. I would prefer two lines.

3) Make your body paragraph(s) focused on your reasons for writing. When asking for information, always explain why you want the information.

4) Have a thoughtful / friendly closing [do not write love].

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net