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 Answer Submission for Part 3 / Question 8

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Jason
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PostSubject: Answer Submission for Part 3 / Question 8   Mon Oct 08, 2007 10:45 am

Please post your writing responses for the free online TOEIC writing test task (question8) here. You do not need to log in or register to post your writing, simply click on POSTREPLY.

Please answer the writing prompt in 30 minutes or less.

Please allow at least a couple of days for an OnlinEnglish.net Administrator to view and respond to your task. Responses will be limited to a score and some generic comments targeting the areas you could improve in.

Good luck!
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Yay
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 7   Wed Oct 17, 2007 4:17 am

Seeking a promotion is a universal attitude of every employee in every company! this is the ultimate goal . among the choices for the reasons why we seek promotion, the best reason for me is self-esteem.

if a person have a high level of Self-esteem, his willingness to do more or much greater aspect of work will follow.such as earning more, wider career opportunities, respect among co-worker. according to Maslow a infamous Psychological genius of our time who made the theory regarding the 5 basic needs of Man. the 4th which is the need for Self-Esteem. this category of need is the Link to achieve self actualization. self actualization is the pinacle of a mans achievement in life. this is a state in which a person conquers his doubts, fears and frustration. a special feeling which only can be felt in occasions like graduation, wedding( if it is True Love only) not by any chance a gunshot one!.and ofcourse having a child.

in conclusion Self-Esteem is the main source of mans greatness and the urgency to do more and far greater things. this is why we seek the promotions.
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PostSubject: Score / Feedback for Yay   Thu Oct 18, 2007 8:18 pm

Yay wrote:
Seeking a promotion is a universal attitude of every employee in every company! this is the ultimate goal . among the choices for the reasons why we seek promotion, the best reason for me is self-esteem.

if a person have a high level of Self-esteem, his willingness to do more or much greater aspect of work will follow.such as earning more, wider career opportunities, respect among co-worker. according to Maslow a infamous Psychological genius of our time who made the theory regarding the 5 basic needs of Man. the 4th which is the need for Self-Esteem. this category of need is the Link to achieve self actualization. self actualization is the pinacle of a mans achievement in life. this is a state in which a person conquers his doubts, fears and frustration. a special feeling which only can be felt in occasions like graduation, wedding( if it is True Love only) not by any chance a gunshot one!.and ofcourse having a child.

in conclusion Self-Esteem is the main source of mans greatness and the urgency to do more and far greater things. this is why we seek the promotions.

Hello Yay, and thank you for doing the 3rd part of the TOEIC test with onlinEnglish.net.

Part 3 of the TOEIC test "Write an opinion essay" is worth 5 points. In this section you are required to write an essay on a given topic. In order for you to amass a perfect score of 5 you need to accomplish all of the following: address the topic and task, organize, develop and support your details/examples, demonstrate unity and demonstrate the ability to use the English language.

Important Note: This task is graded the hardest.

Your score for question 8 = 2/5

Key areas to develop

1) You need to brainstorm and plan your essay. This can take 5 minutes to do, but it needs to be done because this will help you in organizing your thoughts and constructing your paragraphs.

2) I have difficulty following your logic in your body paragraph and this might be due to the fact that you have two main ideas in one paragraph [a: self-esteem encompasses higher earnings and career opportunities, and b: self-esteem is the link to self-actualization].

3) You need to develop all of your ideas into their individual paragraphs. Your fist point has no supporting details and/or examples.

4) Grammar. Capitalization and punctuation are your greatest nemesis in this essay. The biggest problem with understanding your 2nd idea is related to grammar.

5) I think your introduction is okay. I would avoid stating things as absolutes –your first sentence. Rather than saying every employee, I would say a majority.

I would work on organizing my ideas and supporting them with details and examples. The first step to doing that is by planning your work.

Watch your word count. The instructions mention a minimum of 300 words.

_________________
All the best on your test.

Yannick O'Neill
Managing Director: www.onlinenglish.net
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Lindaxu
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Mon Oct 22, 2007 3:27 pm

In our working environment, we can see various people: some work very hard, staying late or keeping work on weekends; some like to be around their bosses, buttering their bosses up; some scarify their spare time to obtain their second or even third degree. But most of them have the same goal that is to get promotions, because promotion means greater income, self-esteem, and wider career opportunities. To me, greater income is the most attractive factor among them.

If I have greater income after promotion, I could enjoy my life more. After work, I could dine out or even have a maid to prepare dinner for me at home instead of doing all those chores all by myself; I could go those fancy places to have my vacation, trying things which are too expensive to do now. What fun would that be!

Besides, if I have greater income after promotion, I could get more chance to help more people who need help. I donate small amount of money to those poor kids who can not afford their education. If I have greater income, I could be able to help more people and put smiles on more faces. The world would be less tears and worries but more laughters and happiness. How wonderful would that be!

To enjoy my life more and get more chance to help people are the main reasons that I like to get greater income from promotion. I believe someday I can make it happen, as long as I keep trying.
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Janice
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Mon Oct 22, 2007 11:04 pm

What do you think is the most important reason for seeking a promotion at work? Why?Is it for greater income, for wider career opportunities or maybe higher self-esteem? the Questions Lingers on my mind...
there are 3 reasons as far as the question is concerned. Nowadays, seeking a promotion and actually landing on one automatically increases the income and if your lucky enough and the shoe fits greener pastures. as for me personally it is because of self-esteem.first, an example of which is myself.
several years ago theres' a vacancy on managerial position in the company I am currently employed and fortunately I was one of the candidates. to make the story short, I got the Job. From a simple clerk 5 years ago, now I am a Full pledge Manager of the Sales division of the country's fast growing Internet service provider. yes I had the perks of being a Manager, a new office, higher pay range and of course a step up in the corporate ladder. I thought all of this is enough for me. not until I met with the Bigwigs of the company. a much more wider career opportunities opens up in the horizon. and the ballgame became more competitive too. after a couple of months the VP of the same division were I am assigned Retired and the selection process started, four of us was chosen as candidates. then the jockeying for position starts. I kept my cool, slowly but surely still riding on my latest Promotion, confidence still at 100%, Yes sometimes I had my shares of ups and downs but through perseverance, constant reminding my self that i can do this and not to forget the respect and trust of my Sales Team. We posted the Biggest sales profit of that year.thus to make the story short again. I landed that VP job and now hopefully by next year Regional Partner.

In conclusion, without my Self -Esteem a can easily be eaten alive by those individuals who worked there much longer than i do. Self- esteem is the driving force for me thats keeps me going.
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AHMED
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PostSubject: Re: Answer Submission for Part 3 / Question 8   Sun Oct 28, 2007 10:23 pm

Yes, there are many different reasons for promoting your self and so as seeking for a promotion at work.But,what i have sorted is that ,On our work when we dont have any thing to do like we are getting bored and like fed up of all our work,Then our mind goes on the other track may be its like you were start thinking about your daily routines at work or the incident that happened at ur work before,but a part from all the thinkings, mostly our mind goes on a track where we see our promotions like if you are sitting on your office and start thinking about any thing so, the thing that roaming inside your mind obviously relate to your work too at far edge of your mind, that is how when we are at some enviroment we obviously thinks about the ebviroment too.So the point is if you are getting bored at your work you will start thinking about your promotions and the things which will help you from making you gentle in front of your boss.So , on my opinion this is not the bad deed like its like if you wont seek for your promotion you wont get the opportunity to be promoted.
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jorams r
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PostSubject: Re: Answer Submission for Part 3 / Question 8   Tue Oct 30, 2007 6:33 am

Most of the people wanted to be promoted at work. There are many reasons why we seek promotions in our work.One of the reason is that to have a greater income, this is in fact true to all.They come to look for a job to earn money for living and to financially support our own family. I admit that if you love your job, no matter how hard it is, you are willing to sacrifice just to prove to your employer that you worthy for your position. But sad to know, if you are not well compensated for the job you have, what do you think will happen to your family and even to yourself that you dont even feed or provide your own needs. It is really important to be promoted and gain an increase in salary. By this, your self esteem boosts as well.When given a promotions, you are also having much responsibility to do.As a responsible individual, you are to meet a lot of people from other companies, by this you are also widening your career oppotunities.To all the many reasons why an individual is fighting to be promoted it is still boils down to having a greater income. As we all know from the saying "money is the root of all evil" , we tend to think that we do even it harm others just to be promoted just because of money, but as for me, you have to do your job, make it good and you have to love it. by that act,and your sincerity, your superiors might give you promotions you are not expecting to have.It would be nice to love your work and dont expect to much. Your dream will come true if you give an effort to it.
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kukles
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PostSubject: toeic writing question 8.   Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:14 pm

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LAMBOU
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PostSubject: TOEIC WRITING QUESTION 8   Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:50 pm

THERE IS NO DOUPT THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A PROMOTION YOY FEEL MORE THAN GOOD!
THE REASONS ARE MANY BUT FOR ME THE MOST IMPORTANT IS THAT :WHEN YOU TAKE A PROMOTION MANY OPPORTUNNITIES IN YOYR CARRIER TAKE PLACE NOT ONLY IN THE COMBANY YOU ARE BUT ALSO IN OTHER COMPANIES IN MARKET!
THE NEWS ARE TRAVELLING FAST!WHEN YOU CHANGE YOUR POSITION FOR A BETTER ONE YOU DISERVED!THE RESULTS OF YOUR EFFORDS LEAD YOU AT THE TOP.
IF YOU ARE NOT STABILE IN YOUR POST,IF YOY HAVE IDEAS AND ARE GOOD YOUR LIFE IN BUSINESS NEVER END!IN CONTRARY YOUR PLACE IN MARKET IS BIGGER AND THE BENEFITS ARE MANY NOT ONLY FOR YOU BUT ALSO FOR THE COMBANY THAT YOU PRESENT!
HAVE A TRY TO BE THE BEST! AND YOUR CARIEER NEVER LETS YOU DOWN!YOU GONA FEEL GOOD WITH YOURSELF AND YOUR WALLET ALSO!
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PostSubject: Re: Answer Submission for Part 3 / Question 8   Wed Feb 27, 2008 1:11 am

In my opinion seeking promotion has to be related to the self-esteem.
I think this because everyone's nurturing comes from his or hers inside. If you trust your own strengths and your own capacities you can reach any goal you can have.

If one does not have confidence in herself or himself she or he feels powerless and can not go on. In this instance she or he has to look for improvement otherwise can become a pray for drugs, alcohol or even diseases. When one's self-esteem is too low the tiredness and psychiatric diseases can find a good place to live. Most of the time the stress is the reason for which the level of self-esteem is getting low. To get yourself on your own feet you have to do something to improve your image in your own eyes.

On the other hand, if the self-esteem is high you can do everything you want even to compete with a stressful situation and a demanding job. Many times one is looking for a promotion only to get confidence in herself or himself and to be recognized as a leader by her or his co-workers and the society. But getting a promotion is not improving only your self-esteem, is raising also the money in your account, so your material status gets improved.

Personally I am seeking for a promotion only because I feel I can do more than I am doing now, I can assume much more challenges and I can prove myself that I am valuable enough to get respected by the members of the society which I live in. Briefly I feel I haven't reached my potential yet.
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PostSubject: wty   Wed May 14, 2008 7:40 am

I think is good to be promote. But the reason make me seeking promotion at work is wider career opportunities. Because if you get a good career then you 'll be esteemed by most of people in your company or maybe the city. You'll be got call by a better company and get a better job. If you got a better job, you would get greater income. So, if you got wider career opportunities then you get the other
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melisse
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PostSubject: toeic WRITNG QUESTION 8   Wed May 28, 2008 12:22 am

in my opinion the self esteem and a great income are the two most important reasons for seeking promotions at work.

first of all, a person seeking a promotion has to be as confident as possible on his or herself, because the most one's promoted, the most the responsabilities at work increase, so confidence and determination are the strenght for succees.
for example while being in a situation to take an important decision for an important matter, the reponsable person has to be confident and sure before ending up with a final choice.

second, I also do believe that a self esteem is reached while getting a great income, as being wealthy so appreciate an oppulent life, having responsabilities which sometimes get on one' s favour , getting a wide carreer, are reasons to nurturn a person.

personnaly I aim to get a well paid job, be able to get off work for some hollidays and spend my saved money on travelling.
I m not seeking promotions neither hard reponsabilities.
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cerine
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PostSubject: toeic WRITNG QUESTION 8   Thu Jun 12, 2008 7:50 am

in my opinion, seeking promotions at work has to be related to self esteem, so a person who is confident is better improving his ou her position in a society, for instance, a seeker who is going to be promoted need to support a hiigh leveled responsability when getting a big decision
that s why the confidence is one the most important fact when seeking a promotion.

the other important fact is when a person is willing to get his or her career wider , since this target is reached the self esteem is obviously got, but also the money in the bank s account is risen
in that case the material status gets improved .

however a person wanting to get a promotion is willing to be recognised as a leader in a society.

personally i m seeking for a promotion because i feel that i can do better and more than what i m doing now. i can assume more chalenges and prove to myself that i m reliable enough to be respected by co workers and the members of a society.
all in all, i feel that i haven t reached all my potential yet.
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soso
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Thu Aug 21, 2008 3:58 pm

The 3 main reasons for seeking promotions at work are surely greater income, self-esteem and wider career opportunities. But in the end, what is the most important in our life : having interesting conversations with other people, enjoying time at work, improving our skills, laughing about ridiculous situations, admiring the beauty of a colleague's face... I am not sure seeking promotions let us feel free and spontaneous in our work.
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nick
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question no. 8   Sat Nov 08, 2008 6:15 am

In my personal opinion, The most important reason of seeking promotion is grerater income, and secondary self-esteem.
Because economic stability is a basic foundation of other activities. Even I am interested in social activities, if I don't have special talent in a particular field, I can't get a enough money to manage my family. Then my social activities will be shirnked naturally.
But if I get a enough money from promotion, I can do something good for my family, commnity, and country.

Secondary, self-esteem also very important reason of seeking promotion. After we have enough food to eat, we may seek self esteem. It is a very natural behavior of people.
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Krdevin
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Wed Feb 18, 2009 12:12 pm

There are many reasons for working towards a job promotion, I feel that self-esteem is by far the most important reason. Money and wider opportunities are nice but you must like to work you do and the company you work for.
Self-esteem is pride in yourself and being proud to work for a given company. With high self-esteem you want to produce the best product and to do your best to make the company shine. An example of this pride and self-esteem would be showing up for work early every day, and willing to stay late or pull overtime. Self-esteem is is always looking your best and presenting a good image for the company.
It is found that persons in the work place with high self-esteem are sick less often, produce more work, and also produce a better quality produce for the company.

If you are at the job only for the money, you try to get the most money for the least amount of effort. So you will tend to try and cut corners, which can reduce the quality of the product. Also if you are working for just the money you may never be early to work and may try to make it out the door as fast as passable at quitting time. You do not take pride in your company and want to see it succeed.

The same can be said for worker trying to get promoted so they have wider job opportunities. Not only do such workers not take pride in the company but must dislike there job because they what to be promoted out of there current job. I would say people being promoted only for different or wider job opportunities have the lowest self-esteem.

In closing I feel that promotions based self-esteem could actually improve the company, not only as viewed by clients but the employees as well. Self-esteem is pride and confidence this will show in the employee and the company. Clients will be more willing to go to a company with high self-esteem.
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Maria
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PostSubject: Essay   Wed Mar 11, 2009 2:22 pm

I think it is very important to seek a promotion at work. I feel that I would seek growth where ever in life I would be. In order for an employee to seek a job promotion the employee must superseed job expectations and prove to himself and the supervisor of his superior that he/she will make the company profitable and also be able to comply with the specific job responsibilities. The employee must have job skills, and training to be able to perform the job.
At my previous job I started as a receptionist and after 2 months I got promoted to Human Resource Assistant to me that was a great promotion. I enjoyed the promotion and also being able to learn more and advance into a new carrer.
This new promotion opened a whole new world for me in the Human Resource field. It gave a jump start on a new education. Worked with different diversities of employees, and also that taught the importance of diversity. A promotion plays a very important role in a persons life as well as their job performance. The job performance will upgrade in so many ways and most likely have an exceding employee.
Always be positive and give it the best you have at all times in your work performance and sooner than you think you will be offered a great promotion.
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k2300226
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:50 am

Congradulation! You've got promotion. What a wonderful word you can hear in the area you are working with.
Everone wants to have a great perfomane on the job. Of course the salary will be raised but it's not the only profit when you are promted achivement is also improtant reason people like be promoted.
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idon'tli
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8    Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:46 pm

Promotions are steps to improving your life. When you get a promotion, you opened new doors to opportunities that you thought would never open. Many people long and hope for a chance where they can be promoted.
When you get a promotion, almost your whole work-life changes. Your paycheck is more, you start attending important meetings, you get more offers to work at different companies, and you feel good, knowing that you worked hard and long enough for your superiors to recognize your potentual.
But when you get a promotion, you find that more and more people are depending on you. You have to work extra hours, make important decisions, and take on a whole new lifestyle. Some people even begin to go through stress and depression, which is common with most promoted personel.
But all in all, promotions are what helps you advance in life. your salary is increased, making your living more comfortable and easy. And you have the power to be able to change where you think needs to be changed.Having power is a great feeling, knowing that you have the power to command people and change plans and ideas and add your own. Power is what controls us, And if you have that kind of power, people will respect and do what you will.
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Taralynn
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8    Thu Aug 19, 2010 11:33 am


The most important reason to pursue a promotion at work would definitely depend on the individual. There are some people who put money before anything else, however with a promotion are you sure that your raise will be worth the added on responsibility of that new position? Will your hours that you will have to contribute be acceptable for the raise that you will receive?
If you are pursuing a promotion for a boost to your self esteem, you might find that you should have stayed with your old position. Are you capable of completing the job, are you qualified enough? And if you're not wouldn't that just do the opposite to your esteem?
Wider career opportunities is an option if you do receive a promotion. If may be able to open you to doors that you have never been seen before. And you might be able to also broaden you variety of industry with your new experience.
I think that if you are going to pursue a promotion then you need to weigh all of the factors because all of them will affect you and your new position.
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Natalia
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:09 am

We each have different aims for promotions in your jobs such as good salary, honor and grate opportunity to work. In my opinion, I would like to take wide opportunities to work for 2 reasons. First of all, if I could work not only about specific job but also in different places or departments I could meet a lot of new people who has different backgrounds, thinking of ways and personalities which is very unique. Also I have been always liked to communicate with different ages of people, because that makes me think in a various ways and their story has been always fascinated me. For the second reason, it seems have many chances to discover yourself. For example, if you have wider carrier opportunity, you will see different kind of jobs. Which means, you may will discover the right job which you must do in your life. In conclusion, in my opinion, the most important thing when I think about seeking promotion is to have grate carrier opportunity which makes our lives more rich.
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xueli
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Tue Jan 11, 2011 10:53 pm

There are many different reasons for seeking promotions at work: greater income, self-esteem, and wider career opportunities. What do you think is the most important reason for seeking promotions at work? Why? Give reasons and/or examples to support your opinion.

I believe that the most important reason for seeking promotions in work is for greater income. Although other aresons, such as wider career opportunities, is also encouraging, I seek that to be able to have further income.
A larger income means more support for my family. If I save up money now, if any unfortunate event happens in the future, my family will still be able to be out of major debts. And promotions can also help even without the job. More businesses will want you if you have had many promotions. This can mean that you will not without work for too long, which also adds to the support towards family.
If a major crisis happens to any relations, we all would want to help them out. If there is a promotion, and therefore increased salary, we can be sure that they will recieve the best treatment available, without realising that we are in a great debt.
-----There are many more reasons...but I have to go-----
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yuka
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Mon Feb 07, 2011 3:59 pm

There are quite a few reasons for seekng promotions at work such as greater income, self-esteem and wider career opportunities. The most important reason for seeking promotions for me is to improve my self-esteem. Greater income and wider career opportunies will surely affect one's self-esteem as a result of getting promoted, and I belive that having a confidence or a high self-esteem is a key for scucess. People need some good degree of self-esteem for making seemingly impossible things possible and that can be important in a competitive modern society. In conclusion, receiving a recognition for what I have done in a form of "promotions" gives me a confidene which will affect my performance later in a new given position and, therefore, that is why I am eager to get promotions.
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betchy
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8    Wed Feb 16, 2011 9:05 am


Everyone of us at one point in our life wanted to seek promotions. The listed choices above are very true reasons why desire these. As for me I would opt for wider career opportunities, why? First of all, this provides growth professionally. Many of us do not want to be stuck in a certain position. We always crave for something new and we want challenge. Let say for example you are working in an office as a clerk, of course, you do not want to be a clerk forever, you always aspire for some responsibilities and things to keep you competitive.

Secondly, its gives you the feeling of satisfaction and recognition if you are promoted not on the basis of financial or just to boost your ego or self-esteem. It would be much better feeling to be promoted on the basis that you are gaining knowledge or being trusted for a position where you know you will be of greater responsible and more effecient.

Having financial and self-esteem are another way to seek promotions but I think this is kind of a lame reason. I know we all want money and we want to boost our self esteem I have nothing against that but this will just all be temporary. Being promoted on a reason growing professionally, mentally, emotionally, being more competitive and flexible is through wider career opportunities and having all these the two other reasons will also be reaped.

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marcaobr
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PostSubject: TOEIC Writing question 8   Sat Apr 23, 2011 12:28 am

Seeking a promotion is important for several reasons. But the most important one is the self satisfaction. Because if you are satisfied with your job you will perform well. And your performance is going to lead you to that promotion that you want so badly. Everything else will come with it benefits, higher pay. But if you do not have the motivation to go that extra mile, you most likely, are not going to get promoted. So it is very important to do your best, that is the path for your success.
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