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 Free iBT independent writing task submission

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Jason
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PostSubject: Feedback for Ruth   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:09 am

Ruth wrote:
The task is to write about if "People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing". I have to admit that I totally agree with this statement.

The are simply some things in life, that need to be done, for example chores in the household for housewifes, or doing the homework for students, that would rather play than sit at home and do homework. But the things simply need to be done at some point in time, and the earlier you do it, the sooner you are done with it and then you can spend more time enjoying the things you would really like to do.

Moreover if nobody would do things, if they didn't want to, than those things simply wouldn't be done. Maybe the guys who take out the garbage don't like their jobs, but they do them, because they want to earn money, and also because the jobs need to be done. We are living in a modern society that works, because sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves and do things, even though we don't want to do them. But the more we talk about these things, the more time we lose to spend on things, we really want to.

So to conclude this, I think it is of utterly importance that people sometimes have to do things, even though they do not enjoy doing so. Children have to learn this sometimes at a very early stage and every person should learn to do things, even though they don't want to.

Hi Ruth, and thanks a lot for sending in your essay.

You're looking at a score of about 2.5~3.0 on this task. You have the makings of a fairly good essay but it falls down on these counts:

1. You've simply repeated the topic for an introduction - never a good thing to do.

2. Several of your sentences are far too long, with many commas.

3. Your second body paragraph doesn't appear to have a clear main idea of category. Is it 'jobs simply wouldn't get done', or 'people need jobs to make a living', or 'the demands of modern society'?

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Show some insight about the topic in your introduction to get the reader's attention rather than just quoting it.

2. Allow yourself some time to edit - specifically to make sure your sentences are well formed and concise. They are rather random and uncontrolled at this point.

3. Make sure each body paragraph has a clear main idea to explore, which is then supported with details and examples.

I hope those tips help you out. Good luck getting ready for the TOEFL!

Regards,

Jason

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PostSubject: Feedback for carol   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:22 am

carol wrote:
Although, in most cases, life is a choice, human being probably should do somethings they do not find it enjoyable. If a person does every thing in his life as he wants, earth is heaven though. However, you should sometimes do things you do not agree to keep life going.

You may do such things to accommodate your personal life; this is typically right in marriage. If you are a married man, you have to make your wife happy as much as possible. Because marriage is a sharing live, you have to be familiar with your wife's needs. For example, you do not like shopping at all but your wife has the ability to spend much time shopping, you probably go shopping to make your wife happy. Another common example is the relationship with one's mother-in-law. To keep your house's atmosphere friendly you should tolerate your mother-in-law whoever this creature is!


Every body faces a time when he does undesirable things to gain something. According to my personal experience, I worked in a liquor store to earn some money which helped me to continue my education. In my opinion, working in such store may be dangerous sometimes. I took risks in order to be able to achieve my goals. In addition, I think many people work at unhappy places to help their families.

Social duties and activities are reasonable reasons to explain why a person should do unwilling things. Some people hate funerals, or looking at a dead body. However, when a relative is passed away, all the family members should attend the funeral. Mankind needs communications, that leads anybody to deal with some people who make him or her anxious or even angry. Of curse you can just quit this but after a while, however; you will find yourself alone

Hi carol and thanks for submitting your essay.

This essay will score you about 3.0 on the TOEFL 5-point scale. There are many positives about your writing, but also many things you need to work on before you can expect to get a higher score than this. I thought the content of your introduction was good, and the body paragraphs had reasonably well-expressed main ideas supported with realistic sounding examples. However, there doesn't appear to be a conclusion (your last paragraph appears more to me as a third body paragraph, given you are introducing more concepts and supporting examples). You also need to pay some serious attention to your language use (grammar) as at times it makes your writing hard to comprehend.

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Make sure your essay has a beginning (intro), body and end (conclusion). If the beginning or end is weak or absent, you will never really score more than 3.0~3.5, no matter how good the rest of the essay is.

2. Do some more private work with your grammar and spelling.
For example:
Although, in most cases, life is a choice, human being]s] probably should do some]/]things they do not find ]it] enjoyable.
Because marriage is a sharing livee]life], you have to be familiar with your wife's needs.
Of cursee]course] you can just quit this but after a while, [however;] you will find yourself alone

I hope these quick tips help you out. Best of luck with your TOEFL practice.

Regards,

Jason

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PostSubject: Feedback for monamoda   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:30 am

monamoda wrote:
Although people have a natural tendency to do only the things they like and always try to avoid the things that they dont like, I personally think that every person should sometimes do things that he dislikes.

In our everyday life, we are sometimes obliged to do things that we dislike because they are within our responsabilities. For example, we have to clean our room, although we might dislike it but we have to do it otherwise, our room will become very unclean and a complete mess.

Besides, we sometimes have to do things that we dislike because they are better for our health. Eating vegetables and fruits might not be as appealing to us as eating junk food but on the other hand, they are much healthier than the junk food. Some people for example dont like to brush their teeth, but they have to brush their teeth to keep up there oral hygiene and prevent tooth decay.

Moreover, we can do things we dislike because we gain things from them, either financially or socially. we might work in a job that is not our favorite to earn more money or we can go to the funeral of our friend's father because attending this funeral will have a good impact on our relation with this friend.

Our life is a journey full of ups and downs, likes and dislikes, and happiness and sadness, we should use every situation we face and every experience we get weither we like it or dislike it to get through our hard times and improve our lifes.

Hi monamoda. Thanks for sending in your essay effort.

This is one of the stronger essays I have seen posted for this topic, and I think it would score you about 4.0~4.5. All the essential parts of a good essay are featured here and handled quite well. I thought your argument was well expressed and your ideas organized well in terms of body paragraphs - each with logical and familiar examples.

Where I think perhaps you would have been penalized is not going into enough depth with your ideas. Your examples are very general and common, which is okay except that they then fail to have a significant impact on your reader. Your first and third body paragraphs only actually consist of two sentences each - pretty good evidence you haven't gone into a lot of detail.

However, this is a good score, and with just that little bit more attention to detail, you can guarantee a higher score around the 4.5~5.0 mark.

Nice essay, well done!

- Jason

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PostSubject: Feedback for Anja   Thu Jan 03, 2008 10:37 am

Anja wrote:
According to the idea of intrinsic and extrinsic values of my doing, I agree with the statement that people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. There are tasks to fulfil that lead to any kind of happyness or enjoyment only later in life or that have to be looked at from a very particular perspective. Life management requires all kinds of suffering, self restraint and discipline along with happyness and enjoyment.

I have dreams for my life that I would be very sad not to achieve. That is for example to pass the toefl exam. In order to pass it, which would make me very happy, I am forcing myself to learn how to write a good essay. It is not my primary enjoyment to exercise this task, but I know that the exercise will help me to pass the test. Enjoyment will come therefore only later, and it remains a hope for now. The situation is different with a friend of mine. She has her old aunt in the house and looks after her day and night because the aunt can't walk anymore and has to stay in bed all the time. It is not a strategic achievement for her to do this work every day and there is no ultimate enjoyment waiting for her at the end. She does this work because she loves her aunt and remembers a good deal of her life being lovingly attached and close to her. My friend is thankful for all the good time they were able to spend together in the past. Her work is sometimes everything else than nice and she suffers a good deal for it, but she looks at it from a different and very particular perspective to feel its intrinsic beauty, a perspective of past memory and happy days together with the beloved aunt.

To take it short: Life management requires us sometimes to progress through times when our doing does not seem to have much of enjoyment, either because of strategic goals and dreams to reach or because of duties for love's sake that have to be looked at from a very particular perspective.

Hi Anja, and thanks for sending along your TOEFL essay.

This is a rather excellent response, and in my books would score you between 4.0~4.5. Aside from a few minor errors (like the spelling for happiness, and saying "to take it short" when perhaps "to sum up" or "to make things short" might have been better), the only major problem is that you failed to segregate your two central ideas into different body paragraphs (at the point where you being to talk about your friend's situation). Had you done that, you would have had a strong essay indeed. I thought the introduction and conlusion were excellent, and your two main ideas with accompanying examples contrasted brilliantly with each other to give a very broad feel about your position on this topic.

The only major suggestions are to watch your spelling for simple vocabulary items, and remembering to break your body into separate paragraphs for the different main ideas expressed.

Other than that, it's a moving and impressive piece of writing.

Well done!

- Jason

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PostSubject: Feedback for Marissa   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:01 am

Marissa wrote:
I strongly agree with the statement that people should sometimes do things they don't really like. This is a part of being responsible adults. There are many things we don't like to do. First, it affects our professional life. Second, our personal life [lives are] also filled with tasks we don't enjoy of doing. In addition, by forcing ourselves to do what we don't really like we can learn how to enjoy it.
First, one can't deny that we do a lot of things at work that nobody likes to do. For example, who is happy to work with the person everybody hates or to do borring assignments? Moreover, I am sure that nobody is looking forward to fire a person. However, if you are in managment that is your responsibility to handle that kind of situation. In fact, after doing that over and over again you can finally find right words to make this process less painful for both parties.
Second, similarly our personal lives [are] filled with unpleasant tasks. For example, nobody likes to go to the dantist. However, we understand that it is important to our health. Furthermore, nobody likes to clean the house , but we do that because this is our responsibility to take care of a place we live in.
In addition, from]on] the other hand we can actually learn how to like something we don't enjoy doing. Let's take for example dancing. My husaband didn't like to dance. It was very challenging to dragged him into the dancing class. Surprisingly, after a few lessons he decided that he liked it. He confessed that dancing gave him the confidence he never had before. So, now we go to the club to dance very often.
In conclusion, not everything in this life is fun. Borring tasks became part of our lives. Similarly, to]in] our personal lives we have a lot of things to do that we don't like. Nobody enjoys cleaning the house or going to the dentist. This is a part of adult's life. However, sometimes this[these] things surpises us and turnes out to be very enjoyable.

Hello there Marissa and thank you for sending in your writing effort.

You're set for a score of about 3.5~4.0 (out of 5) for this essay. You did several things well - the introduction is good (I like that you provide an overview of the main ideas you will explore) and the conclusion is quite decent. I also found body paragraph 1 good and body paragraph 3 excellent.

Where your score is getting penalized is based on:
- Not marking your paragraph breaks clearly enough (hit the enter key twice to start a new paragraph, or enter once and then tab or space in to start the next paragraph). The formatting can make the final result look all bunched together into less paragraphs than you originally intended.
- There are several basic spelling and grammar mistakes in your writing (I've highlighted some). I know for a fact that TOEFL essay raters tend to punish this pretty harshly unless the grammar mistakes are for complex expressions you are trying to make.

Suggestions for Improvement:

Make time at the end of your writing to edit your work. Make sure your paragraphs are neatly divided and presented, and check for spelling and grammar errors.

Hope the suggestions and notes help!

Best of luck,

Jason

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PostSubject: Feedback for Katja   Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:09 am

Katja wrote:
It is thue]true] that people usually have to do things that they don't like. However, none of them pursues doing something he dislikes, only because he is obliged to do it. That's the main reason why I disagree with the above statement.

It is common knowledge that in many fields of everyday life we have to perform in certain ways, if we want to achieve good results. In addition, many times these ways are far away from our personal views. For, example we have to be serious and come along with all our collegues at the office, even though we don't like them all. However, this is a professional manner of thinking and acting that we have to follow. This behaviour cames to reason if we retrospect a bit. Then, we understand that we actually behave this way because we want to be good professionals, not because we just have to.

A second example could be exams. We study hard, not because we like to spend some tedious hours in the school library or alone in our rooms, but because we want to perceive a better future. In fact, no one forces us to struggle for a good result. It is our will, that motivates us the most.

Finally, I would like to stress that in adult life people learn how to make choices, not how to depress themselves. In other words, anything we do is a result of free choice. Nowadays no adults, except for the slaves which consist a minority in the western world, have to do something awful because they should. If they do so, they must have reasons for that.

In conclusion, I disagree with the above statement because I strongly believe that anyone has the right to choose what he will do in his life. After all, people nowadays are much more educated than]/]in the past; which makes them much more open minded with what the do, why they do it and how they choose to do it.

Hi Katja and thank you indeed for sending in your written response.

I think this was an interesting and original approach to the topic, and I think it would score you in the 4.0 range. You have an original take and present some good arguments, but not all of them are supported with realistic, tangible examples. However, I think an exam rater would have been refreshed and impressed with your approach.

Suggestions for Improvement:

1. Make the time to check over and edit your writing. You can avoid careless spelling and spacing mistakes if you do so.

2. Make sure all your main ideas are exemplified in a realistic and convincing way. The best/easiest way is to personalize the ideas into examples about ourselves or people we know/knew. Your second and third body paragraphs could do with this additional support.

Hope the suggestions help! It was quite an interesting essay to read.

Regards,

- Jason

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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:36 pm

People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Does this topic find you torn between the two. I bet it does. Its interesting how much can be said in a single sentence. In my personal opinion people should definately do things that they donot enjoy doing, the reasons could be many ranging from subjective to objective, but here's my 2 cents !

We have heard the word "altruistic" . which can be best connected to the topic. In my opinion an altruistic person often does things that they dont enjoy in particular but end up doing for the sake of their loved ones. Hence it beautifully reflects my opinion . For example an mother who has fear of heights will take a ride in the roller coaster just for her kids as she altruistically doesnt want to dissapoint them, now that not only benefits her kids but also presents her altruism.

Along the lines of the above said, doing things that we dont enjoy can sometimes reveal surprises about our own selves. You never know what can triger a new interest . we get exposed to doing something new and many a times we do develop an interest or liking for it , although we might have not enjoyed in the past. My own example would define it. Back in high school I had skating, but later on in life I had to do it because my boyfriend loved it . I started doing it reluctantly, offcourse, but soon realised that it was great way to spend time with him. eventually I started enjoying it as he would help me with tips and tricks and make it interesting and soon we participated in leagues and matches.
It was a perfect example on how I rediscovered my self by doing something that I didnt like initially but eventually turned out be the best thing.

In conjuction with the thoughts above I strongly emphasise that rediscovering ourselves itself is a learning process and that can also lead us to benefit in future. Sometimes while doing something that we dont like we might learn something very useful for the future.Most of the times it has been observed that knowledge helps us in unexpected ways in life. In order to elaborate let me qoute a personal experience. My mother didnt like swimming, but she soon realised that we, her kids loved water. She then made a concious attempt to learn swimming and swam with us much to her dislike. Unfortunately one summer our kayak toppled in the springs , she succesfully swam and brought 3 kids to the shore. Not only did she learn something that she didnt enjoy she actually benefited from it and saved lives.

Life is about choices, some choices are wise and some are silly. But we do learn from each and every single of them. We need to do things beyond the set range, that will help us explore the various choices that life often presents. We can achieve altruism, self revelation and knowledge through doing things that we donot enjoy. who knows whats in store...the least we can do is explore!
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:28 am

We humans should not expect that what ever we want should happen. There are certain things that won't be enjoyable to do but people should do this kind of things either for the society or for our benefit. So I agree that people should do somethings that they don't enjoy doing.
Not always we can expect things of our interest to happen, there are some situations were we need to oblige certain things even if we are not happy with it. For example if you are in a office where your head orders you to do some work which you are not interested or willing to do but you got no option rather than doing the work. This is becaue we can not disobey the bose. We need to express our own views and ideas but this doesn't help all the time. One should learn the tactics other wise it is difficult for the person to live in todays modern society. By doing some tasks which may help others it's no were wrong by doing it even if we are not interested . Thus there are situations were people are required to do some tasks that may not appeal them. Being adamant by not doing that things may sometimes causes to increase the wrath of the other person. Sometimes we can show our hesitation about doing the things but that should'nt be there all the time , few of the things we need to get adjusted and do it even if we are not willing to done.
Thus I feel that it's not wrong by doing the things in which we are not interested, this may help others or indeed may help us. But this should'nt be done always by killing our own individuality. So depending upon the tasks and situations it's not wrong by doing things that may not be enjoyable to us.
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Fri Jan 11, 2008 11:12 pm

Most of people droped with rules and motivation of lovness or respectment therfore we found most of them obey to do somthing that they didn't engoy it. So, i agree with the previous statment for two reasons that i follow.
First of all, most people walk with motivation like lovness or respective. of course, these guide me in most situation however i don't enjoy it. for instant, when i was married, i lived in my husband's family house. his mother is hard woman and so she always ordered me to do some actions such as cleaning the house and cooking instead of housekeeper. However, i hat that, i didn't blam her or told my husband about that because i love my husband. As the result of motivation of love, i clened the house and cooked.
Secondly, another reason that some of people intended to do somthing that they didn't like it that they must follow rules in public places. For example, when i go to cinema with my friend, i enjoyed to talk with her about the actions in movie therfore we got bad words from persons around us to shut up. also, i always listen to my cd music in loud volume and this caused neighbours disturbed and told me to reduce the volume so i must to follow custom rules if i want to be safe from others.
In conclution, everyperson do somthing that he/she doesn't like it but he walk and moved with rules and motivation in his/her life.
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PostSubject: To do, or not to do   Mon Jan 14, 2008 4:23 pm

People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. I absolutely agree with this statement. Every thing you do in life can't be just fun. We have a motto in Norway that says that you have to work before you can enjoy. I think this is a good motto that relate to everything in life.

For instance if you want to spend your holliday in a warmer country you maybe have to get an extra job to afford the exspensive holliday. Even if you don't enjoy working late in this extra job, I think you should do it, because it will let you do something you realy want to do later.

Another eksampel that illustrats that you sometime have to do things you find meaningless or boring is at school. It was not allways easy for me to motivate myself to work whit the mathematics, but today I see that get use for allmoste everything that I learnd. So I'm glad did my mathematics homework even if I didn't enjoyd it.

My conclusion is that every thing in life is not just fun, and sometimes you have do to thing even if you don't enjoy doing it!
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PostSubject: Questions for shilpi   Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:03 pm

shilpi wrote:
I would like to talk about the statement above which says some people should do things that they don't enjoy.(what statement above?)

The statemnt above can have different meaning to different people and different people will construe this statement differently.However being a student of psychology, I strongly agree to this statement that sometimes people should do things that they usually don't enjoy doing.We as human beings learn new things everyday and it is a well known quotation" once a new learning rolls over you,if you are not a part of steamroller,you rae part of the road"-Stewart Brand.So, only thing you need to do is it explore new things each day and one day you we will be the master of that thing.Even Sir Einstein tried his formula several times and initially everything went in vain but later there was a discovery.

Here I would also like to add on that if you always do things that you have always done,you will always get what you have always got.So, one needs to dig deep into oneself and do little introspection evryday to see what they like doing and what they don't before claiming about their likes and dislikes.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi there shilpi.

Thanks for sending in your essay. Why don't we work through your essay together? To improve you need to start thinking about what you are doing.

Why don't we start by looking at content.

1. What is the statement you agree with?
2. What are your main ideas?
3. For each main idea, what are your supporting details?

Once these questions answered we will look at organisation/presentation?

Talk soon.

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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Tue Jan 15, 2008 11:03 am

"our actions speak our thought". either a good or a bad, what ever is in the minds of people, they tend to act in that way. feeling sleepy or sometimes in a mood play, people tend to do it.
normally people do the things what they want to do. whether its to play or to dance, to work or to chat, people do the things as they desire, but i personally feel that people do the things that they don't want to do. and i feel it is true in most cases. being a small kid, who wants to study??, and as we grow young, we never wants to get up early morning.
Most of the people do the things they dont want, people tend to work day and night, pressing their feelings inside. they do the work only because they dont have any alternative. if they already have in excess for what they are working for, they would stop to work. its only their need that they work.
A young teenager,for whom life has so many gifts, is forced to go to school, and in the school he or she has to bear all the tortures of school work and the boring homework. at that age they never would have thought to study, its not their want, its only the compulsion put on them and the force to get better grades. at that point of time their are many thoughts, wats the use of these grades, what the benefit of that, a topper and an average student will get into the next class together. students study due to compulsion from teachers and parents. every parent want their child to be an engineer or a scientist, can every parent have a scientist?.
Then in a normal life too, people do the thing which they have never want to do, to get up early every morning, to work all day long, and then even at home their is lot of work to do, assignments, projects, seminars, meetings who wants?.
but now as we have been led into the 21st century, and as the technology is advancing day by day, we have to do the things which are against our will in order to cope with the modern world, inorder to survive, in order to rise we need to work hard, even its against all luxuries and will, people have to work. And yes, people do the things which they dont want to do, because theirs no other alternatve left, if they have the right successs, they will do what they want, but its normally said " do what u don't want to do or do what no one else has done and you will rise "
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PostSubject: Anna's Independent writting   Thu Jan 17, 2008 4:50 pm

Life is not perfect. There are a lot of things people donít like to do. In this case some of them are trying to make somebody else to do it or donít do it at all. I believe that every person should sometimes do things that he or she doesnít enjoy doing. In this essay Iíll explain why I think so by giving few reasons to support my opinion.
First, when people do something they donít like they force themselves. By doing this they train themselves to rich a goal. If a person can push him or herself to do something he or she donít enjoy, it means that nothing can stop him or her. It will definitely help them in their future to become successful.
Furthermore, doing something unpleasant teaches people to become patient. Nobody forces anybody to do something right away. People can finish doing something even if they do it little by little. The main point is that they must finish what they started.
Finally, some people donít like to do something only because they had never tried and it seems hard and boring to do it. For example, some people hate to clean their apartment. However, if they turn on music or ask somebody to help them it can be a lot of fun and people might really enjoy it.
Those are few reasons why I think people should sometimes do things they donít enjoy doing.
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PostSubject: eassy   Thu Jan 17, 2008 5:27 pm

Life is not a piece of cake. We canít arrange our life whatever we like. Life is like a journey where we can learn so many things. So I think we should do both things which one we like to do and also which one we donít like to do. If we never do things which we donít like then we never gain experience the pleasure of that work.

If we want to be successful in life then we have to know everything. If I have very good knowledge in math and I like to do math but I hate English so I always do math and donít want to practice English then when I get my result I got like 90 % marks in math but I fail in English then I couldnít able to get admission in any university. As a result it loss my one year.

If we focus in our personal life then all of our mentality is not same. I like something it doesnít matter that my family members also love the same things. We live together so we canít be selfish and always do things whatever we like. We also need to take care about other peoples feelings. If I care about another feeling then they will also care about me and in that way our bonding will be stronger.

In every stage of life we face different kinds of problems. So we have to handle it very strongly. If we think I donít like it and I donít want to do it then we will never prosper in life and if we donít feel the taste of pain and we will never understand the feel of happiness.
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PostSubject: Everyone has a choice.(timed task)   Fri Jan 18, 2008 2:02 am

There may be different reasons why some people are doing things which they are not definitely enjoyed. Perhaps, it is something that is imposed on them to do. An example of this is the parent-child relationship. Some parents are domineering when it comes to choosing a career path for their children. Some even use blackmailing like they will withdraw support on their children's education if they do not obey. Usually the interests of both parents and children are not the same. In this situation, there are students taking courses which are not within their likes just to follow their parents.

Personally, I do not agree in doing things just because one is being forced to do so. Everyone has a choice. Doing something you enjoy brings joys and happiness. Furthermore, if one is happy, it will affect the person's outlook on life, which is being optimistic. There is a greater chance of excellence if the person has positive outlook and loves what he is doing. There is a proven study that students who excel during college are the one who are enrolled on the courses which they are enjoying. In addition, there is also a great improvement on them as a person as a whole specifically in terms of mental, emotional and social aspects. They are more mature in handling problems and in decision-makings. In terms of social aspect, they can interact with different kinds people from varied backgrounds.

In a nutshell, one should do things within his interest so that he would be a happy, fulfilled and healthy person.
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:21 am

Vivi wrote:
Good afternoon, pls find below my essay for Writing Q2 :

I definitely agree with the fact that people should sometimes do things they do not enjoy doing. Indeed, living in society, meaning with other people, every single day of your life compels you to do things you would not do if you were alone in the world. And usually doing things you do not really enjoy enables you to appreciate even more things you like to do. Let me explain you my thoughts about this topics.

Fist of all, we all live in society, which means we all have to follow some rules to be able to live among others. We have to follow rules implemented by the government and by laws. Even though we would like to do whatever we want anywhere anytime, there are rules preventing us from acting like this. Indeed, imagine a world with no rules at all, it would be impossible to live in such a world, a world where anarchy is the only principle. Fortunately, human beings have created rules that give a structure and an organization to our world. And even if these rules are sometimes annoying us, we should not forget the fact they enable us to live in security and comfort.

Secondly, doing things we do not enjoy enables us to enjoy even more things we actually like to do. For instance, remember when you were at school, how much you appreciate the end of school year, how great was the idea to go on holidays for two months in a row. This feeling is exactly what I am referring to. Doing things we do not enjoy can be beneficial at the end, so we should not be short-sighted, but rather trying to see the positive consequences of what we are doing.

To sum up, I would say that doing things we do not enjoy is unfortunately required along our life. But instead of complaining, we should see the advantages and the positive consequences of our action.


Thx for your advice

Have a good day,

Virginie

Hi Vivi and thanks a lot for sending in your essay.

This scores about a 4.0 - perhaps even 4.5. It is a strong, well-written essay.

The only thing that could really be improved is your first body paragraph. You've gone into a lot of detail without providing any real solid examples for the reader to identify with. Your second body paragraph, however, where you invite the reader to recall the feeling of finishing school and leaping into the holidays - that was excellent.

Make your first body paragraph a little more like the second one, and I would probably rate this a 5.0.

Good luck with your writing!

- Jason
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:24 am

uzma wrote:

Today ,in this world everything matters ;our behvior ,gracefulness ,attitude towards various relations.I a always like to do things i enjoy and like,yet I rather donnot do that way. This has been a debatable issue overtime. People should sometime do things that they donnot enjoy doing.There are several practical situations where we need to do the things we donnot like both professionally and personally.There are reasons and views in support of argument.
One reason ,we are living in a society;we need to follow all its rules and regulations accompanied by the traditions ,customs ,and cultures.We must respect our society, elders ,profession etc.so, we need to pertain the grace of all these elements ro be happy and peaceful.For example,if donnot like my in laws and donnot enjoy their company , I cannot just ignore them because they are a part of my family and deserve my attention and reaspect.Moreover my marital life may be affected. This is the trend of most of the women over world.Yet, they do it.
Another reason ,we need to do some things which are mandetory;they are very essential like going to school or college,studying etc..For example, in my schooling i didnnot like to study quants ,but I still did it because I know how crucial it is to get through my gre exam.My love towards my dream to abroad made me like quants and do well with it.
All in all, i feel that not all poeple do things they enjoy;if they do so there may only regret. We should try to mould our life in accordance with the situations.Then we will be successful and happy without any regrets.so, that we can cherish our past forever.

Hi Uzma,

This is going to rate about 2.0~2.5. You really need to look seriously at your punctuation, paragraph formation and spelling.

Try editing this so that it is more accurate on those counts, and I'll give you a new score.

Best of luck,

- Jason
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:28 am

anuja wrote:
Its a harsh reality but in today's world governed by a pletora of rules covering every aspect of our life,we do have to do things that we do not wish to do.

As an example,in my country during the course of study of engineering,we have to do an internship of two months every year during our summer breaks.The working hours often extend into the wee hours of the night.Also,mostly students procure an internship that forces them to stay away from their families.

Another example to further support my view point is that the taxation system in my country is marked by a lot of red tape.This makes people find ways to speed up the process of filing their returns using ways they do not advocate of.This often involves loosening their purse strings.

The love for one's family also forces one to do things they do not want.Many employees are forced to work overtime and without extra pay.They do this unwillingly but they have to keep their jobs so that they are able to provide for their families.

To conclude,in the modern day scenario,people have do to things that they are not willing to do.This is either to conform to rules or to be a provider for your family.This truly justifies the sayin, "Life is not a bed of roses".

Thanks for your essay, anuja.

This is going to score about 3.0~3.5.

Decide on a main idea for each paragraph and state it at the start. Then explain it, and then use your real-life example.

Your score here is suffering from not enough depth/detail, and lack of clear main ideas to guide each body paragraph.

Good luck with your writing!

- Jason
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Fri Jan 18, 2008 7:43 am

basemagd wrote:
Although doing thing[s] that you donít have interest in will be very boring and may have a negative effect on your psychology, I believe that [at] sometimes [you] we are obliged to do such [a] boring thing[s]. This is clear in many situations [, namely in terms of financial survival and our duties to others] .

First of all, when you work in a job that is not exciting for you [, you do it] just to gain [survive]. Lifeís expenses are going[getting] too high those[these] days [and] that makes every one [in] need [for] more money to cover these expenses. For example, a man who is supporting his family, his wife and children, would have a lot of expenses such as the rent, transportation expenses and paying for food and cloth[ing]. This [is] in addition to the money spent on the education of their children. Taking[Keeping] in mind the increased unemployment rate with the accompanied financial burden on the man [a person], the man [person] will most probably move to any kind of job that offers him higher salary that would satisfy his needs [-] even if he doesnít like this job. However, there are some persons[people] who are lucky enough to find a job that is interesting to them and at the same time provides them with a considerable amount of money to cover their spending.

Another situation in which you may do thing[s] that you donít enjoy is when it is one of your duties. For example, when your friend calls you for help, when it is late at night you may feel reluctant at helping [to help] him but at the same time you are responsible of helping your friend in emergency cases. Waking up from your deep sleep to help someone is not that enjoying [enjoyable] for most [of the] people but no one can disappoint his friend when he asks for a hand. Besides not putting[letting] down your friend, you will think about what may happen in the future where you may be in a bad situation and in need for someone besides you.

In conclusion, it would be the best [of] life if we can[could] do the thing that we enjoy only, but [at] sometimes [-] due to financial issues and our duties [-] we may be forced to do things that we donít like.

Hi basemagd,

This is a really good essay - extremely well organized, argued and expressed. I thought your main ideas were very pragmatic, and your examples very realistic and compelling.

Your score is 4.5, a great effort. You will lose the half point based on some lapses in language use and punctuation. Because the rest of your essay (in terms of organization and topic development) is so excellent, I've suggested corrections in the body of your essay.

Well done, you should be pleased with this effort!

- Jason
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PostSubject: People should sometimes do things that they do not enojoy   Fri Jan 18, 2008 8:55 pm

There are many things that we do not want to do, but have to do in everyday life. So, I agree with the following statement that people should occasionaly do what they do not enjoy doing.I believe that we do so both for others and ourselves.

Firstly, as far as society is concerned, we live in the world where many people live together,so sometimes we need to do things that we do not acutually want to do, but for other people. That is to say, we sometimes do the things for cooperation and teamwork. For example, when I was belonged to a classical music band when I was a middle school student.There was a kind of instrument that nobody wants to play. Finally, I had to decided to play the instrument even though I did not want to do because otherwise we would not be able to be a band play
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PostSubject: People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doi   Fri Jan 18, 2008 9:54 pm


Here is my essay.

Sometimes, people should do things that they do not really enjoy doing. I completely agree with the statement. We are social beings and live in a community. Most of the times we have to do the things even if we donot really like. I will support this statement with few examples in the following paragraphs.

Some times people donot like to take care of finances, yet they have to. For example I do not like learning different kinds of investments, keeping track of accounts, spending, bills etc. but i have to do these in order to survive and secure my future. If I donot keep track of my bills and payments, my life will be a mess. Similarly if I donot watch my spending and saving I may not have financial security.

Another situation where people do not enjoy is following rules. For example rules by government. We live in a community every day of our lives. We have to do some things which we may not do if we are living all alone in the world. We have to follow the laws and rules by the government even if we do not like because if every body does only what they like the world will be chaotic. Following the rules will make the society function in an order.

In conclusion, people have to do many things in life which they do not really like or enjoy. But reasons like financial security or social security we may be forced to do the things even we donot like.

i highly appreciate your feedback and advice
thanks
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PostSubject: People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doi   Sun Jan 20, 2008 8:02 pm

Why people go to work ? Why soldiers have to go and make war ? Why children must go to school and work hard to get a good grade ? All of these questions are related to things that people should do even though they don't go on their way to do it. For most people, having responsabilities and making decisions mean doing things with strong reliability and involvement wish are very demanding in term of energy and health. Let's go through several situations where doing things doesn't necessary mean having fun.

First, we usually do things because we are forced to do it. For instance, we go to work because you need money to pay bills and to raise our family. Managers take risks to ensure success of their business in order to figth in dog eat dog environment. Do managers really want to take dangerous risks to reach their goals ? As a business manager, I did some things that I trully would like to avoid like working 18 hours a day 7 days a week to supply our client and respect the T's and C's.

Secondly, sometimes people just want to relax and heard the ocean's waves but they can't because they have to take their reponsabilities. For exemple, raising a family, goind to study or going to military service. Making war for soldiers might be an awful exprience that they don't relly want to experiment. But they have to figth even though they agree or not.
Altough it is not really funny, children have to go to school and work harder and harder to get a good grade.

In conclusion, most of the things that people don't want to do are related to their involvement in the society. Carring out our duties requires a deep involvement and engagement. People may say: 'It dosen't do it for me. I don't want to take this reponsability'
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PostSubject: People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doi   Mon Jan 21, 2008 9:47 pm

I totally disagree with that the people should sometimes do things that they do not enjoy doing. Even if they are faced with the things they are not willing to do, people should find ways to make it pleasant or to see things from different angles.
There are very strong reasons for this opinion.
First of all, life is given for the person only once. People should not waste their time for nothing because every minute is worth something. The most important things is what meaning you are giving to the thing, with what attitude your are starting it. People are better to find positive sides even in a challengeable situation.
Secondly, when people do things as a due, the end result will be not effective and may end up even worth than it was intended. Interest, attitude play very important role in people's life. Even when the person has no choice, one should look it from a different angle to look for the positive sides.
To sum up, people always should think over their attitudes and find interesting ways to make unwilling things positive. They should not start things without enjoy since it does not worth the end result.
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Tue Jan 22, 2008 4:24 am

People should sometimes do things they do not enjoy doing.

It is true that life does not consist only of enjoyment. There are a lot of things that people sometimes do not enjoy doing them. Despite the fact that doing these things does not gives pleasure, people should keep doing them because it could be necessary and even beneficial for them.

Firstly, there are routine tasks that people should do in their every day life even if they do not enjoy it. They should sometimes tidy up their apartments because otherwise they fall down into decay. Further, people should clean their teeth and sometimes visit a dentist. Even they do not like doing this they understand that following these rules is beneficial for their health and life.

People sometimes accept to do things that they do not enjoy because they understand it might give them benefits in long run. For example, it is not a great pleasure to study hard while the weather is great and friends are inviting you to spend time with them. However, if you are preparing for an important exam you will keep studying in spite of other more pleasant ways of spending time.

Furthermore, sometimes people should follow rules established in a society or at their work. Some people do not enjoy getting up early in the morning because they are evening persons. However, they overcome this displeasure because they are supposed to come at work in the morning. Another rule that some people have to follow is that in summer, when the weather is hot, people who work in a bank have to wear official suite, and men have to wear necktie. This is a kind of dress-code, and if the bank workers will not follow it the clients of a bank will be confused and might think that something is wrong with this bank.

People sometimes do things without enjoy because they are supposed to do them as members of society. Sometimes doing these things gives benefits to their health or helps them to accomplish their goal. Thus, there is no doubt that sometimes people should do things they do not enjoy doing.
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PostSubject: Re: Free iBT independent writing task submission   Wed Jan 23, 2008 3:12 am

Would you please rate my independent essay?
Than you very very muchh...

Topic : How do movies or television influence people's behavior? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

At last quarter of the Nineteenth century, film industry and television technology have improved with tremendous speed and this improvement has effected Peopleís life significantly. Therefore, cinema and television live us as a part of our life. In my opininon, we may seperate the effect of television and movies into two major subtitles.Positive and negative influence on peopleís behaviour.For instance; Information is positive influence, aggression and provocation are negative influence.

Aggression is the most destructive behaviour in our life.The reasons of the aggression are mostly psycological.Horror films or scary movies make us very nervous.Therefore, these kind of movies effect us psycologically.As a result, aggressive behaviour effects our daily life.However some kind of movies have negative influence, most of the people like watching these movies.It is a controversial situation.

Also provocation influences our behaviour negatively.At prime time, televisions broadcast political news.Most of the news have violence.For example terror or politic demonstration. These kind of news effect peopleís political view both right wing and left wing.At the same time, news ,that protest government, effect peopleís behaviour.In my opinion, the producer of the news should be more careful and sensitive.Because the news that not exactly true may influence people like ďbutterfly effectĒ.

On the other hand, in positive situation, to learn anything is very essential in our life and to have information is the most importiant part of learning.Both television and movies give us a lot of information such as, medical, educational or scientific.Sometimes we can easily implement information that we learned by television.For example, 5 years ago, I saw an accident on the highway.I tried to help survivals.I used my first aid knowledge that I had learned on television program.These kind of information may save peopleís life.

As a result, directors and producers of the movies and television programs must be more careful and sensitive.At least, they should design their programs to be more informational and to be effective in positive situation.
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