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 Free IELTS descriptive report writing task submission

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Jason
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Join date: 2007-10-01
Age: 41
Location: Changwon Korea & Melbourne Australia

PostSubject: Free IELTS descriptive report writing task submission   Tue Oct 02, 2007 3:15 pm

Please post your writing responses for the free IELTS descriptive report writing task here. You do not need to log in or register to post your writing, simply click on POSTREPLY. Please allow at least a couple of days for an OnlinEnglish.net Administrator to view and respond to your task. Responses will be limited to a score and some generic comments targeting the areas you could improve in.

Good luck!


Last edited by on Thu Oct 04, 2007 1:44 pm; edited 1 time in total
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yodinks
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PostSubject: IELTS WRITING 1   Thu Oct 04, 2007 10:53 am

The first graph shows population growth figures for India, US and China, from 1950 to 2050, with the data after 2005 being projected. The second graph displays the change in rural and urban population distribution in India and China over the same time period as the first.

The figures for China stand out. Initially showing a steady growth, the increase began slowing down by the 90s and is expected to peak by 2025. There is a flattening of growth in rural population as well during the same period, which, after '95, shows a steady, almost linear decrease, coming down to almost 600 million by 2050. China shows rapid urbanisation, growing from about 75 million in 1950 to about 900 million by 2050. As far as India is concerned, a steady increase in population is seen. The total and rural populations go up by about 4 and 3 times respectively. The urban growth, however, is much more marked, going from 75 million to 600 million. Over this entire period, the US shows a steady growth from nearly 125 million to 375 million.

Both India and China are nations with high population growth, with India showing no signs of slowing down. The two countries are developing at a fast pace and are getting urbanised quite rapidly.
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Jason
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PostSubject: Re: Free IELTS descriptive report writing task submission   Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:11 pm

Quote :
The first graph shows population growth figures for India, US and China, from 1950 to 2050, with the data after 2005 being projected. The second graph displays the change in rural and urban population distribution in India and China over the same time period as the first.

The figures for China stand out. Initially showing a steady growth, the increase began slowing down by the 90s and is expected to peak by 2025. There is a flattening of growth in rural population as well during the same period, which, after '95, shows a steady, almost linear decrease, coming down to almost 600 million by 2050. China shows rapid urbanisation, growing from about 75 million in 1950 to about 900 million by 2050. As far as India is concerned, a steady increase in population is seen. The total and rural populations go up by about 4 and 3 times respectively. The urban growth, however, is much more marked, going from 75 million to 600 million. Over this entire period, the US shows a steady growth from nearly 125 million to 375 million.

Both India and China are nations with high population growth, with India showing no signs of slowing down. The two countries are developing at a fast pace and are getting urbanised quite rapidly.


Hi Yodlinks, and thank you for having a shot at the IELTS report writing task.

Overall, I believe this would be rated around 7 - 7.5 on the IELTS 9-tier band scale.

You handle complex structures and vocabulary well, and there are not that many problems with your application of the language. You clearly have a good mastery of the specific vocabulary and expressions for effectively reporting the trends on a line graph, as well as good language for framing and expressing the various pieces of information.

Where I think you are going to lose points is in the organization and presentation of the data, and perhaps not taking the information far enough.

My recommendations:

1. It's a good idea to separate the data for China and India, as you have, but think about doing so with the use of separate paragraphs for each. This clearly shows your reader the presentation you are making for each of the major countries described in the graphs.

2. Consider direct comparisons and contrasts, either in a third paragraph unto itself, or as part of presenting the data for the second country you describe (as you have already presented one country's data, it will read naturally if there are comparisons with this data in the paragraph that follows).

3. Given the graphs show projections, your report could comment on these. What do the graphs seem to indicate about the difference between urban and rural populations for both countries in the near and not too distant future?

I hope those comments help. You've certainly handled some fantastic written expression in terms of concise accuracy, but try to think about what you are going to do with the results in terms of packaging them into logical interpretations of the data in a general sense.

Best of luck with your IELTS writing practice!

- Jason Renshaw
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mike
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PostSubject: Population in India, China and US   Mon Oct 08, 2007 11:40 pm

As I saw the graph of population explosion in India, China and US it clearly states that China stands first then India and lastly US at present. India and China is showing the sign of increasing till now and in future too. and as per my knowledge i don't think so that India can beat China's population because china has lack of education and poverty and the main reason of population explosion. India is vast in education now a days. Perhaps its still not happening the same in china.
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Victoria
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PostSubject: graph description   Sat Oct 20, 2007 9:13 pm

The first graph shows population growth trends in three countries India, China an USA, while the second one projects urbanization in India and China figures. All the information is collected from 1950’s till year 2005. Furthermore , there are predictions for 25 years forward in both graphs projected.
In the first graph we can clearly see the difference between USA and remaining two countries China and India. While population growth in USA has remain stable all over this year, it has been increasing steadily in two Asian countries. From 1950 till 2005 population growth in China and India actually doubled. Predictions, made by United Nations Population division, suggests that USA and India will show the same trends in population growth for next 25 years. However they believe that in India population will start decrease.
The second graph, comparing urbanization figures, shows the same trends for China and India for first 40 years. The population has been rapidly growing in both urban and rural areas. In the year 1990 China’s rural population began to fall and urban population steadily increase. From 1985 to 2005 it increased in 200 millions of people. The same thing to India’s rural and urban population is predicted in 2020.
To sum up, both Asian countries China and India have much more bigger population then USA and, according to figures, these populations are steadily growing now and probably will in the future. Therefore urbanization in rates in these countries are high too.
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Free IELTS descriptive report writing task submission

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