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PostSubject: Feedback/score for awaisjaa   Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:04 pm

awaisjaa wrote:
mystery of mary celeste '' a gostship'' first recognized ever is uncertain with a handful of explanations. the ship found abondoned off the coast of portugal in 1872 on its way from newyork to italy. it neither had any presence of the crew members nor passengers , damage caused to it. there are many contradictory theories about its mystery which continues to fascinate historians.
in the above mentioned passage , mysteriousness of Mary celeste apparently a 'GOSTSHIP'' has been higlighted .historians are still in a state of ambiguity about its real story. the lecturer fails to prove a certain theory which may seem a final explaination for it. rather there are different theories to explain it . One refers to a mutiny being taken place on the ship between the crew members & the captain Benjamin Briggs . but this idea is not supported by the fact that there were no elements of damage or signs of violence. Anothe idea that those who found Mary celeste near portugal looted the passengers & the crew from their valualbles & then took it to gibraltar to collect reward for the missing ship. This seems to be true in the sense that the role a british naval officer is highlighted in certain records who suspected them of making fraud & tried to punish them through legal measures . Overall the mystery continues to exist because whoever on board was never seen or heard after that. One plausible explanation which seems quite in lieu with the given scenario is the ship carrying 1701 barrels of alacohol in which 9 were found empty. this is supported by the evidence that ship was found with its hatches & portholes open which may have been due to leakage . the alcohol which used to exported via the ship after being leaked had let to fumes & danger of catching fire , thats why the captain & the whole crew may have fled of it on a small boat & vanished in the sea.

Hello awaisjaa.
Thank you for submitting your effort to our free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Score/range: 2 ~ 2.5

Your score is in the 2 range because of the significant language difficulties along with the difficulty to demosntrate the connections between the listening and the reading.

Key areas for improvement

1. Review the writing. Before submitting your work ensure that you have edited your essay. The amount of spelling mistakes (of words that are in the written passage), punctuation errors, lack of capitalization, and incomplete sentences are a guarantee of a score in the 2 range, regardless of if you understood the listening and reading passage.

2. Listen for key words. The listening passage mentions that the ideas presened in the reading passage are unacceptable. The speaker says " ... claiming mutiny or piracy are not very sound ones." You need to listen attentively to introductions. The speaker's position is usually stated within the first 10 seconds.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Esteban   Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:29 pm

Esteban wrote:
The lecturer illustrates the ideas related to the mysterous abandonment of the Mary Celeste ship. These ideas are very different and somewhat inaccurate when compared to the theories described in the reading.

First, the theory of a mutiny was presented on the passage. The crew killed the strict captain and his family, throwing them overboard and later leaving the ship. This theory directly contradicts what the lecturer indicates. According to the speaker, no evidence of mutiny was found on board. (missing info.)

Second, the lecturer describes how the abandoned Mary Celeste was found by a ship whose captain was a close friend of the Mary Celeste´s captain. However the passage describes the theory that the crew of the other ship took the values, killed the Mary Celeste´s crew and collected the reward for finding the missing ship in Gibralter. (missing info.)

Third, the lecturer illustrates an aditional theory about the abandonment of the Mary Celeste. The speaker describes that the ship was probably abandoned because a potential fire was about to take place. It was the first time the captain transported alcohol, and when the crew found some leaking barrels generating humus, the concern of a potential fire was imminent. The crew opened all the hatches and port holes and abandoned the ship in one of the life boats.

Concluding, the lecturer projected doubts which contradicted the center standing point of the passage. The lecturer described that there was no evidence of piracy or mutiny, being a potential fire the reason for abandonment which contradicts the center standing point of the reading.

Hello Esteban.
Thank you for submitting your response to our free TOEFL Integrated writing.

Score/range: 2.5 ~ 3

I would score you nearer to the 2.5 than the 3. There is a serious omission of information regarding the listening passage. On the other hand, you were able to link the different ideas appropriately and the errors of usage and grammar are limited.

Key elements to work on

1. Note taking. Work on gathering important notes. Organize your reading notes in order to facilitate the taking of listening notes. Work on shorthand, this will enable you to take more notes and listen more carefully.

2. Organization. Ensure that you start your paragraphs in the same order (reading > listening or listening > reading). This will create flow in your writing and make it easier for the assessor to read and grade you.

3. Reading passage. The reading passage is always available to the test taker. Ensure that you have gathered all the main details from the reading.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Rohit M.   Tue Jan 08, 2008 7:46 pm

Rohit M wrote:
The mystery of the ghost ship, 'Mary celeste', and reasons for it, form the core part of the essay. This ship was found abandoned in 1872. THis ship was to reach Italy,but could not. It was found with hatches and portholes
opened, and with no passengers or the crew. Also,large amounts of alcohol drums were found empty and no luggage was taken out.

According to the reading, This is a highly acclaimed mystery. It cites two reasons for this mishap. One, that the ship might have had a mutiny, wherein the crew killed the captain and fled. And another, explaining that
the people of the ship that actually found 'Mary Celeste' might have murdered them for money. Both of these reasons are considered
void by the speaker.

The speaker argues that there were no evidence to suspect foul play, either on part of the crew, or by the people of the ship that found it. Though the people of the ship that found it were accused, the judge found no evidence to imprison them. Also, the captain, Mr.Briggs, was a man with good reputation, and so were the crew members. This explains that there could not have been any mutiny. In addition, the captain of the ship who found this mysterious ship was a good friend of Briggs, and hence he could not have murdered them all.

The speaker cites a plausible reason for this mishap by stating that the ship might have been abandoned. For one, the alcohol might have leaked and due to the fear of explosion, the people might have left it quickly. This explains why no passengers have taken their luggage with them. Also, in order to prevent the explosion, the hatches might have been opened, to le tthe fuel drain into the sea.

Thus the speaker contradicts the possibilities the reading has given, and puts forward a new theory.

Hi there Rohit M.
Thank you for submitting your response to our free Integrated writin task.

Score/range: 2.5 ~ 3

Things to look at

1.Integration. In the integrated task you need to correlate information within a para graph. At the moment you are reiterating information, but not showing explicitly how the sources are related. You need to have, in this case, one idea from the reading passage followed by a counter from the listening passage.

2. Include all pertinent information located in the reading. Ensure that all key ideas from the reading have been mentioned. For example, why was there mutiny on the ship? Or what other details support the idea of piracy? These facts are important because they have a link to the lecture.

3. Organization. You need to demonstrate a connection between your details. When looking at your 3rd paragraph you have details for two different theories interlaced. This creates confusion.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Jorge Du   Tue Jan 08, 2008 8:09 pm

Jorge Du wrote:
The Mystery of the Mary Celeste, is the main topic of the passage.
It explains diverse theories of what could have been the reasons for the tripulation to dissapear in such ways. it was found with its portholes open, and all of the crew's personal belongings complete, "even their pipes".

In the passage, it is stated that possible causes could have been mutiny, alcohol fume emergency evacuation, or even an explosion, acoording to a scientist called Weiss, who applied some tests to prove that an explosion could have taken place without harming the structure of the ship. There was also the possibility taht, the ones who found the ship, where the ones wo could have killed and vanished the whole crew, but then, it is known that the captain of the ship who found the Mary Celeste, was a good friend of Captain Briggs, commander of the Mary Celeste, so it was very unlikely for him to have murdered the crew.

The speaker concludes that even though there are some very plausible theories, the most probable one, is the alcohol leakage.

Hello Jorge Du.
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 2 ~ 2.5

For a first attempt this is okay, but a lot of hard work is required in order to elevate your score. For this task I would have scored you 2.

Key areas for improvement

1. Precision. When writing you must be precise. What is the Mary Celeste? The reader does not find out that it is a ship until halfway through the 2nd paragraph. What passage? Is there only one passage?

2. Integration. You must mention that there are two different sources and that they either support or refute each other’s arguments.

3. Organization. Need to present the information in an organized manner. Present the first point from either the reading or the listening and show how it is related to the other source. Then present the second point from the reading or listening and show how it is related to the other source. Continue the process until all points have been developed. Always present the information in the same manner.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Sarahsal   Tue Jan 08, 2008 8:36 pm

sarahsal wrote:
The reading passage and the lecturer are discusing the theories made abut the mysterious mystery of the missing boat Mary Celeste knownb as the " ghost ship " .
The lecturer supports one theory which is that the boat have been carrying 1701 alcohol barrels , nine of which evaporated . which might create fumes that could have been exploded leaving no evidence of fire or so , as wellas it was the captin's first time to put alcohol on his travelling ship. Though his experience ,this frightened the captin and the crew , leading him to abandon the passengers from the boat , the lecturer said that passengers may have been drowned , lost or even died from hunger and thurst.
Other theories in the passage were refuted by the lecturer . For example , one theorey stated that the ship may be taken to steel it but the lecturer avoided that propability as he said the sailors didn't take anything with them even the pipes . Another suggestion in the passage is that the crew might have killed the captin , but it was said that the captin was of good reputation . Thus , the lecturer supportes the theory concerning alcohol fear by the captin.

Hello SarahSal.
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 2 ~ 2.5

A score of 2 is more likely what you would get for this first effort. This is not bad, but it does indicate that some work is required in order to elevate the score to the 3 range. This does not take into account language use.

Key areas for improvement

1. Organization. You need to present how the two sources compliment or refute each other at first. Then present the alternative idea.

2. Reading. You need to start by taking key ideas from the reading passage and noting them down in blocks. Ensure to reword the notes correctly in order to not lose the meaning and to gather all the information.

3. Listening. Once your reading notes in order, listen carefully for correlating ideas between the reading and the listening. There is a lot of information missing from the listening passage, and this can be rectified by taking notes that are linked to ideas presented in the reading passage.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Bianca   Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:55 pm

Bianca wrote:
The lecture refers to the mystery of the ship Mary Celeste.The lecturer presents a theory that is different from the ones stated in the passage and brings several argument.(arguments for what?)

He points out that the two alternatives solutions to the mystery provided by the passage are faulty.He completely refutes the passage by saying that it was impossible that the crew killed the captain and his family or that the ship that "found" Mary Celeste was responsible for pirate acts.The lecturer says that captain Benjamin Briggs was a man with experience,a good captain and a respected one.Moreover none of the personal objects of the members of the crew were missing.Thus the hypothesis that he and his family have been killed by the crew is not veracious.As for the second hypothesis brought up by the passage,the lecture states clearly that that the portugues captain of the ship that found Mary celeste was a friend of Benjamin Briggs and it is no evidence that he and his crew have been acting like pirates.

The lecturer also brings a new alternative, a more veracious one.He states that it was possible that the captain and his crew abandoned the ship because of the alcohool it transported.it is known that it was the first time Mary Celeste was transporting alcohool and the crew was afraid of an explosion.Maybe,the professor says,some of the bottles in which the alcohol was transported broke and so alcohol fumes were released into the air.This fumes were most probably sensed by the crew which could have opened the hatches in order to air the ship.even though, the fear of a fire could have probably made the captain to deceide to abandon ship.The crew is supposed to have drown.

Hello Bianca.
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 3 ~ 3.5

This is a very good effort at the task. You got most of the information from the listening passage, but did not demonstrate explicitly how it related to the reading passage. This is where you lost your points.

Key areas for improvement

1. State the key notes from the reading followed by the refuting or supporting evidence from the listening passage. You do well at showing how the listening disagrees with points mentioned by the reading, but you never mention what was said in the reading in regards to mutiny and piracy.

2. Orgnization. It is not necessary to produce paragraphs for different ideas (in the integrated writing), however by dividing the ideas into their own respective paragraph you are making it easier for the assessor to read and grade you. More importantly you are illustrating that you know how to organize your writing.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for John   Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:39 pm

John wrote:
The lecture and the passage are both about why the Mary Celeste was found but the crews and passengers weren't seen. However, the lecture and passage has different theories to the mystery.

According to the passage, a mutiny was aboard the ship and the crew killed captain Benjamin Briggs. This theory is supported by saying that there were 1701 barrels of alcohol on the ship and 9 were found empty. But the lecture challenges this theory. In the lecture, it is said that the captain was experienced and a well-respected one. Besides, the crew had good reputation so it wasn't unlikely that the crew would kill the captain. Furthermore, all the crew's personal belongings were left on the ship, even their pipe. The person who found the ship was a captain as well, and there was no evidence that shows the person had done anything suspicious. Thus this rules out piracy.

The lecture further provides another theory, which wasn't mentioned in the passage. The theory is that the captain and crew suspected that the ship was going to explode so abandoning the ship was a natural instinct. The open hatches and portholes can be explained by they wanted to air the ship. As captain Benjamin Biggs had never transported alcohol before, he sort of panicked when he found out that 9 out of 1701 barrels of alcohol was empty. This could be due to leakage. Though a German historian had said that fuel explode might not cause damage, however when a captain suspected of fire ark explosion, it was natural to ask the crew and everyone aboard to escape. Those who escaped may have died of storm, drowned or starvation.

Hello John.
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 2.5 ~ 3

This is a good effort. You were able to bring out some key elements from the reading and listening passage. The fact that you virtually skipped an entire theory is the reason you scored so low.

Key areas for improvement

1. Introduction needs to be more precise. What is the Mary Celeste? Was the Mary Celeste lost? You should state who holds what position in your introduction.

2. Information. Ensure that you cover all the points brought forward by the reading and listening. The idea of piracy was not covered and this is why your grade balances around 3.

3. Note Taking. Concentrate on getting as much information as you can from the listening lecture. As you listen note the information from the lecture, near your reading notes where the information sources seem to be talking about the same thing.

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PostSubject: Feedback/score for Bharath   Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:52 pm

Bharath wrote:
The lecture claims that Benjamin Brigs was a reputed captain and was respected by his crew. The crew were also scrupulous and could not have taken part in a mutiny.

The other theory claimed that the captain who found the missing ship was good friend of Captain Briggs. The court case also could not prove any foul play by the crew. So this theory is also dismissed.

Also, the passage mentions that no sign of violence was observed on the ship. This should suffice to eliminate any blood shed based or conspiract based theories.

Yet another possibility proposed was that the captain and crew were scared of the alcohol leakage that spread strong fumes throughout the ship. This leakage theory can be confirmed by the fact that 9 of the alcohol barrels were empty whgen the ship was found.So the captain probably ordered all the hatches and port holes to be opened and abandoned ship. Reliable records also show that the captain had never transported alcohol and was not aware of the safety procedures needed for handling alcohol.

A scientific study also showed that leakage of alcohol could create an explosion but would not damage the ship. The lecture finally concluded that the speculation that the crew might have abandoned the ship of fear of fire and have been lost and died of starvation and thirst.

The scientific theory of alcohol leakage and subsequent abandonment of the ship seems the most probable chain of events that might have occurred.

Hello Bharath.
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 2 ~ 2.5

The listening passage was hit fairly well. You were able to get quite a bit of information from that source. Well done. Where is the reading?

Key areas for improvement

1. Introduction. Whenever you write something that is to be assessed you must have an introduction. For the integrated task, you need to tell the reader what the topic dicussed is and the position's held by the different sources.

2. Integration. You need to show a link between the different sources. You must demonstrate how information from one source is supported or refuted by the other source.

3. Reading. To show integration, you need to provide the key points from the reading along with those from the listening.

4. Opinions. Do not include personal opinions. They are not warranted. In fact, they are viewed negatively because they are not part of your task.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for inna   Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:13 am

inna wrote:
The passage describes mystery incident that happen in 1872.The ship named Mary Celeste was found without any people on the board. The passage has few explanations of this mystery.
First theory, the crew killed Capitan and crew numbers leaved the ship on a small boat .The lecture disagree with this theory. In the lecture says that capton was very experience person and have good relationship with the crew. In addition all personal belongs of crew were found on the ship. Crew numbers did not take smoked pups, which almost inpassoble.
Second theory, the ship which founded the Mary Celeste killed capitan and crew for the profit and letter report about mystery. The lecture is disagrees with this. According to lecture the capitan of another ship, named Gloria was friend of Benjamin Brigs and is not evident of fight on mystery ship.
According to lecture this is another theory .It was first experience of the capitan of alcohol transportation. The capitan and crew were nerves about it. When they founded that 9 barrios of alcohol was liking the capitan decided to leave immediately the ship, because he was afraid of explosion. Crew and capitan laved ship in the small boat and drew in the ocean.

Hello inna.
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 2 ~ 2.5

This is a good first effort, but there is some work that needs to be done. I would tell you to work on your note taking skills and on your editing skills. Both contribute equally to you receiving no higher than a score of 2.

Key areas for improvement

1. There is a need to be as precise as possible. You need to indicate that you know exactly what you are talking about. For example, in your introduction you state on two occasions ‘The passage’, but the reader/assessor does not know what passage you are talking about. In your introduction, you must mention the topic of your essay along with the positions held by the 2 different sources you will cover in your essay.

2. Be sure that you have covered all the important information from the reading. You are missing some important details. This also has an impact on your listening notes because you are not concentrating on all the key words.

3. Review your essay before submitting it. I know 20 minutes is not a lot of time to write, but in reality you only have 16 minutes. You need to keep yourself a few minutes in order to review your work. By eliminating some errors that interfere with the comprehension of your essay you are giving yourself a better chance of getting a stronger grade.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for bybolina   Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:31 am

bybolina wrote:
The mysterious ghost ship "Mary Celeste" that was found near the coasts of Portugal in 1872. It was known that she was travelling from Portugal to Italy and what was strange that aboard were found no people or damages.
Two theories try to give explanation to the situation with this ship. The passage states that the possible reasons are piracy and mutiny. According to that the captain was too strict and he was killed by the crew and then the crew left on a lifeboat. The other version states that the crew took ship to Gibraltar in order to be awarded for the missing ship. But they were suspected of fake play by an officer and he tried to have them punished.
This is in a contradiction with the lecture where it is stated that the capitain was an experienced man and was respected by his crew. The piracy verstion is denied there. What is common as stated in both informational sources is that the ship was carrying 1701 barrels of alcohol and 9 were found empty, and the captain feared that there would be an explosion due to the poured alcohol and the crew had to abandon the ship. He was also worried because this was the first time to carry alcohol aboard. So It was even stated that the one who captured the ship was a friend of the captain.

Hello bybolina,
Thanks for submitting your essay to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 1 ~ 1.5

This was not an easy task for you, but I congratulate you for your effort. This is the first step into improving yourself. You score in the range of 1 because you really do not demonstrate the relationship between the listening and the reading. You allude to the listening, but do not cover it.

Key areas for improvement

1. You need to start by taking appropriate reading notes. Copy down the important details.

2. When the listening starts pay close attention for words or ideas that are found in both sources. Write down the listening ideas next to or below those they relate to. Then write your essay according to the way you took your notes. ***First reading point accompanied by the supporting or refuting listening point. Make your way until the end.***

3. Paraphrasing. This is a very important skill. You need to practice paraphrasing because at the moment, when you reword sentences or ideas, you are changing the meaning of the sentences. This is causing you problems when taking notes.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Fatos   Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:48 am

Fatos wrote:
The ghost ship of Mary Celeste according to the lecture has been abondoned by the crew members and the ship returned empty without nobody. According to the lecture there has been many theories that explain the emptiness of the ship without any crew member on it. In the lecture, the lecturer mentioned that they who found the ship have not killed any of the crew member and have not taken anything of their belongies whereas in the reading passage it is stated that they have killed the crew members and taken their belongies which makes them responsible for the disappearing of the crew members of the ship which connects with the theory of piracy in the lecture. Another theory said in the lecture is that the crew members abondoned the ship because of a huge explosion that the barrels of alcohol created, so they left the ship and run out with little boats where in the reading passage this theory seems to be plausible. So both the reading passage and the lecture have a same elaboration of this story that the ship has been abondoned by the crew members but the cause of their evacuation from the ship is still a mystery.

Hello Fatos,
Thanks for submitting your essay for onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing.

Your score/range: 1 ~ 1.5

For a first try this is okay. There are some points that need to be addressed, but for a first go you did okay with extracting some key points from the listening and reading passage.

Key areas for improvement

1. Organization. You need to present your work in an organized manner. Have a brief introduction that presents the topic along with the position's held by the different sources. Continue by having different body paragraphs for each key point. Finish by having a summarizing conclusion (the conclusion is not essential, but it is always a nice way to bring everything to a close ****Remember no opinions in your conclusion).

2. In each paragraph state the main point from the reading (with any accompanying details) and follow it with either supporting or refuting details from the listening. ***Repeat the process for all KEY points.

3. Review to ensure that you have covered all necessary elements and to correct your language. In this essay you completely missed the idea of mutiny.

4. Pay close attention to the introduction in the listening. This is where the speaker will announce his/her position on the issue. In this integrated task, the professor clearly states that he/she refutes the theories mentioned in the reading passage.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for nanny   Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:09 am

nanny wrote:
Both lecture and the text are about the Mary Celeste ship and its mistery. Few days after starting its vayage ship was found without any passanger as well as any of the crew
First theory mentioned in the text is that the captain and his family were ones of the suspected and might killed all passangers. But the lecture suggest that the Benjamin was the captain with long experience and a good reputation.
According to the next suggestion made in article the crew which found the ship may killed all passangers in order to get some valuable thing from it. Lecture argue that the captain of the ship which found Mary Celeste was a Benjamin’s good friend.
Last theory not mentioned in the article and one the most possible, it says that all passangers and the crew had to leave the ship because of the accident caused by the large amound of alcohol aboard. It is said that the captain saw the fumes and advaised all people aboard to use lifeboats to get off the ship. Then they probably couldn’t find a land and died because of the lack of food and water

Hello nanny,
Thanks for submitting your effort to onlinenglish’s free iBT TOEFL Integrated writing task.

Your score/range: 1 ~ 1.5

You would have scored in the range of 1 because your response provides very little meaningful content from the lecture. You understand that the sources refute each other, but that is the limit. You must get more details in your work.

Key areas for improvement

You need to work on your note taking skills. You can do this by practicing taking shorthand or by finding a different method to write down notes. I like mind maps for note taking, but others prefer mirroring their notes.

Once you have gotten stronger at taking notes work on paraphrasing. It is very important to be able to paraphrase/reword ideas in the integrated writing task. You need to be able to do this without losing the initial meaning.

Be precise. The reader/assessor needs to be able to read a passage and understand it the first time around. This is key because the reader/assessor will only read your essay once. All your pronouns need to refer to something and all your sentence need to be complete. Do not leave any doubt in the reader/assessor's mind. The reader is not asked to infer.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for talal sa   Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:19 pm

talal sa wrote:
The writer informs that many theories have been made to find out the complete truth about the ship Mary Celeste, which travelled from New York toward Italy but it was found on Portugal's shores without any one aboard. The first theory that the writer gives is that a mutiny took place on the ship, where the sailors killed the captain and his family then they fled the ship in a lifeboat. The second theory suggests that another ship found the Mary Celeste, stole some of its cargo and killed all people on it to clear the crime scene. To support the second theory, the writer informs that there were evidences about a British marine officer who suspected the killing and steeling and tried to judge the criminals in court.

On the other hand, the speaker refutes the mutiny theory supporting his opinion by telling that the Mary Celeste's captain was an experienced and his crew were well-known for their good reputation as well.
The writer informs that the sailors on Mary Celeste did not take any private things and that, according to the speaker, casts doubt about any mutiny might take place, in addition, the captain of the ship that found Mary Celeste was a friend for its captain contrasting the second theory given by the writer. The speaker suggests another theory; depending on the empty alcohol cargo on the ship and the Mary Celeste's captain had not transferred alcohol before, an alcohol leaking might take place which threatened the crew so they escaped, then they probably died in the sea. According to a German historian, alcohol-induced explosion might happened but did not damage the ship.


To summarize, the lecture argues against the theories given by the text about what happened to the Mary Celeste ship by using logical inferences from the several facts and evidences gathered from the ship.

Hi there talal sa.

Thanks for giving onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test a try. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 2.5 ~ 3

This is a very good attempt. Your language in use is not bad and your capability to gather key points is good. Some work needs to be done with picking up key details and showing integration.

Key areas to think about for development

1. You need to have an introduction for all of the essays composed in the TOEFL test. Your introduction can be short. Present the topic discussed by the sources and present the position held by each source.

2. You need to demonstrate integration. The method to do this is by presenting the first key point offered by the reading passage (along with its key details) and following this with the supporting/refuting point (and its details) offered by the speaker. This = a paragraph.

3. You were able to pull out the most important points from the reading (minus a few key details), but when looking at your listening notes, I notice that a lot of key details are missing. One way to attack this problem is by focusing on ideas. The ideas that you have extracted from your reading need to be addressed listen for that content and write it next to the reading point. The use of shorthand and abbreviations is beneficial because it gives you more listening time.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Carol   Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:35 pm

carol wrote:
The writer informs that many theories have been made to find out the complete truth about the ship Mary Celeste, which travelled from New York toward Italy but it was found on Portugal's shores without any one aboard. The first theory that the writer gives is that a mutiny took place on the ship, where the sailors killed the captain and his family then they fled the ship in a lifeboat. The second theory suggests that another ship found the Mary Celeste, stole some of its cargo and killed all people on it to clear the crime scene. To support the second theory, the writer informs that there were evidences about a British marine officer who suspected the killing and steeling and tried to judge the criminals in court.

On the other hand, the speaker refutes the mutiny theory supporting his opinion by telling that the Mary Celeste's captain was an experienced and his crew were well-known for their good reputation as well.
The writer informs that the sailors on Mary Celeste did not take any private things and that, according to the speaker, casts doubt about any mutiny might take place, in addition, the captain of the ship that found Mary Celeste was a friend for its captain contrasting the second theory given by the writer. The speaker suggests another theory; depending on the empty alcohol cargo on the ship and the Mary Celeste's captain had not transferred alcohol before, an alcohol leaking might take place which threatened the crew so they escaped, then they probably died in the sea. According to a German historian, alcohol-induced explosion might happened but did not damage the ship.


To summarize, the lecture argues against the theories given by the text about what happened to the Mary Celeste ship by using logical inferences from the several facts and evidences gathered from the ship.

Hi Carol.

Score/Range:2.5 ~ 3

I hope this is the same person as talal sa because I do not understand why someone would post/copy someone else's essay of

Key areas to think about for development

1. You need to have an introduction for all of the essays composed in the TOEFL test. Your introduction can be short. Present the topic discussed by the sources and present the position held by each source.

2. You need to demonstrate integration. The method to do this is by presenting the first key point offered by the reading passage (along with its key details) and following this with the supporting/refuting point (and its details) offered by the speaker. This = a paragraph.

3. You were able to pull out the most important points from the reading (minus a few key details), but when looking at your listening notes, I notice that a lot of key details are missing. One way to attack this problem is by focusing on ideas. The ideas that you have extracted from your reading need to be addressed listen for that content and write it next to the reading point. The use of shorthand and abbreviations is beneficial because it gives you more listening time

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PostSubject: Feedback/score for fragola   Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:09 pm

fragola wrote:
Both, the article just read and the lecture just heard, give us some theories about what could have happened to the Mary Celeste ship which was found abandoned in the 1872 off the coast in Portugal. (Do they refute or support each other?)

Since the ship was found with open hatches and portholes, with no signs of the crew, the most probable theories, according to the article, are the mutiny which had arrised on board so the crew killed their captain and left the boat, or the violent robbery done by the another ship's crew (who later killed all the people on board to hide any evidence). (missing info.)
On the other hand, the lecturer gives us a different perspective, with a few evidence which prove that neither a mutiny nor the robbery ever took place on the boat. According to the lecturer the most probable reason why the ship was found abandoned is the threat from the dangerous alcohol fumes which could had been found on the boat. Since many empty barrels have been found on the boat, it could be the evidence that the crew had emptied them in order to avoid dangerous explosion. Furthermore, they've opened all the boat's portholes and hatches to reduce the level of dangerous fumes from the leaking liquids, before they left the boat in panic, leaving all their personal belongings on board. That could explain why, once found, the boat seemed like the crew has vanished away. (missing info.)

Even though all these theories about the destiny of the Mary Celeste sound quite possible, the real truth about what actually happened with the ship is still unrevealed. As long as the real evidence is missing, the Mary Celeste will be considered a 'ghost ship'.

Hi there fragola.

Thanks for giving onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test a try. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 2 ~ 2.5

For a first try this is good. Your introduction is okay -you should indicate if the different sources support or refute each other- and you seem to be able to take notes -when looking at the way you developed the alternative theory presented by the speaker-. You would score in the 2 range due to the lack of integratin and the high amount of missing information.

Key areas to think about for development

1. Integration. The method to do this is by presenting the first key point offered by the reading passage (along with its key details) and following this with the supporting/refuting point (and its details) offered by the speaker. Continue this process until all elements have been presented and developed.

2. Development. As mentioned, you have the key points from the reading and the lecture, but the details are lacking. You need to develop the key points. For each key element, you need to show how it is supported by its supportin details, and demonstrate how that point is refuted/supported by the second source and its supporting details.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Irteza   Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:38 am

Irteza wrote:
To this date , the mystery of Mary Celeste is of great interest to people. As per the lecture, the captain of the ship , Benjamin Briggs was an experienced and respected sailor, and therefore it is highly unlikely that he would have done anything to earn the resentment of his crew members and to agitate them to such an extent that they would think of killing him and his family, as the passage says. Also almost the sailors had
good personal records, so they are also unlike to commit such a heinous crime.
The passage mentions that the crew of the ship which found the Mary Celeste could be held accountable. But according to the lecture the captain of that ship happened to be a friend of Bejamin Briggs, so it does a far stretched thought that he would murder his friend. Also, nothing had been stolen from the ship nor were their any signs of foul play on the ship. So, there was no absolutely no motive for them to murder the crew. Besides nothing was proved agianst them , so they could also be awarded some benifit of doubt.
The lecture suggests a possible reason for the enigmatic disappearnce of the crew. The ship was carrying 1701 barrels of alcohol and the captain might have sensed a fire due to the leakage in the barrels. As many as nine barrels of alcohol were found to be empty. This was the first time that the captain was transporting barrels of alcohol. In those days , a fear
of fire and explosion would a cause great deal of panic among the crew and same might have happened among the crew of Mary Celeste, due to which they abandoned the ship and something terrible happened to them due to which they never showed up again.

Hi there Irteza.

Thanks for giving onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test a try. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 3 ~ 3.5

This is a very good attempt at the task, and it isn’t far from a 4. By adding the information from the reading passage you are looking at a grade in the 4 range.


Key areas to think about for development

1. There is a need for an introduction that sets your essay in motion. You need to explain to the reader/assessor what he/she will read about and what is the position held by each source.

2. What does the reading say? Why does the reading believe there was munity and piracy? These questions need to be answered because you allude to them. There are details in the reading passage that explain these ideas; hence they need to appear in their appropriate paragraph. In addition, this is how you demonstrate integration.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for manu   Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:03 am

manu wrote:
In the passage it is said that the mary celeste the ghost ship was abondoned and expaination regarding this has been given.It is said that the captain was killed by the crew men .
It is also said that the crew men on the other ship might have taken certain valuables on the ship killed the captain and rest of the crew and left it abondoned . In the passage it is also said thet 9 barrels of alcohol were opened .
so from the passage it can be concluded that the either the captain might have purposely abondoned the ship,or the crew men on the other ship might have killed the captain and took away certain valuables from the ship and made certain arrangements to remove the evidences.
But in the lecture it is said that the record shows that captain Briggs and his crew men were very disciplined and had good reputation in history, so the possiblitity of their mutiny being responsible for the ships position is lesser.
They had no history of carrying alcohol before so they might have been nervous seeing the fumes arising from these barrels during voyage and might have left the crew on life boats.

Hi there manu.

Thanks for giving onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test a try. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 1.5 ~ 2

AS a first attempt, this is a fair effort. The positive sign is that you were able to gather some information from the reading and the listening passage. There is some work needed regarding your note taking strategies, your presentation, and the organization.

Key areas to think about for development

1. Note taking
A) Reading: Write down all the important notes from the reading passage. Do not write everything; note only the key elements and details.
B) Lecture: Listen to the introduction for the professor’s position on the given topic. Note down ideas that relate to the ideas taken from the reading passage. Use shorthand or abbreviations to make the note taking procedure faster.

2. Use an introduction to present your essay. It does not need to be long, but it does need to state the topic along with the position held by each of the sources.

3. Each paragraph needs to introduce one key element (along with its details) from the reading and the refuting or supporting argument and details presented by the second source. *Jump a line between paragraphs to facilitate review.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Katja   Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:14 am

Katja wrote:
The lecture completely refutes the passage. It is said in the lecture that Mary Celest is much more possible to have been abandoned by its own crew. Contrary to the belief in the passage that there was a mutiny on board or that another ship crew had killed Mary Celest's sailors, the professor supports the opinion that the sailors and the captain left the ship because they were afraid of an explosion. In fact, nine barrels of alchohol were found empty. This detail along with the personal fear of the captain, who had never transported alchohol before, make scientists to believe that the crew had hastily left the ship. Professor also supports his opinion by refering to a German historian, who had proved that an explosion of the ship could be a real threat for the crew. Thus, according to the lecture, the mystery of the gost ship comes to a solid solution. It is much more possible that the members of the crew had been trapped in a storm or had died at sea, either by hunger or by drawning, that to have been attacked.

Hi there Katja.

Thanks for giving onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test a try. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 1 ~ 1.5

For a first attempt this is okay, but there is some work required in order to get to that 3.5 to 5 range.

Key areas to think about for development

1.You need to present all of the relevant information from the reading and the listening.

2. You need to show how the different sources either support or refute each other with concrete/precise information.

3. You need to present your work as an organized and planned effort. The creation of paragraphs and an introduction are important.

4. You need to avoid personal opinions. They are not considered necessary. In fact, they go against the role of the integrated essay, which is to report facts.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Angels67   Fri Jan 11, 2008 1:48 am

Angels67 wrote:
The found ship, Mary Celeste known as the "Ghost Ship" which was on voyage in 1872 from New York bound to Italy brought theories different explanations as described in the reading passage and in lecture discussion.

First, it was believed that there was a mutiny in the ship and that the crew killed the captain, Benjamin Briggs and his entire family and then the crew all saved their life by throwing into the water using lifeboats. However, in listening it was said that Captain Benjamin Briggs was well-liked by the crew. He was a good man with expertise on his job and in handling his staff. It was also said that it was the first time the ship carried Alcohol and that Captain was quite worried. This might brought to his decision to abandon the ship with his crew.

Second, it was believed that the ship that found Mary Celeste might be the same ship responsible for the lost of the ship. They might have killed the crew and passengers and now surfaced to claim that they saw the ship so that they can claim the monetary reward.

Hi Angels 67.

Thank you for attempting onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 1 ~ 1.5

This was a first good attempt. Looking at it positively, you were able to grasp the main ideas and you were able to get a few details from the listening.

Areas to look at for progress

1. Avoid one-sentence paragrpahs. They often lead to confusion, especially when there are grammar mistakes. Write simple sentences in order to ensure that your ideas are well explained.

2. Organization. Look at the undelined sentence. The sentence does not belong in the paragraph. When creating a paragrpah ensure yourself that all the information presented in the paragraph is linked.

3. Note taking:
A> Reading: Write down all the important notes from the reading passage. Do not write everything; note only the key elements and details.
B>Lecture: Note down ideas that relate to the ideas taken from the reading passage. Use shorthand or abbreviations to make the note taking procedure faster. Link your notes by either using arrows or writing your notes in proximity to each other.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Sathya r   Fri Jan 11, 2008 4:55 am

sathya r wrote:
Mary Celeste was a ship destined to italy from New York. It was referred 'the ghost ship' as it was found abandoned in the coasts of portugal without the crew members but the hatches and portholes being opened.
The lecture and the article is about the controversy about the actual incident that would have happened. The two possibilities above said are mutiny and piracy.
The mutiny theory accuses the crew of the ship to be the cause for the abandonment. They would have killed the captian Briggs and his family. Looting away all the valuables, they would have escaped in the life boats. But the lectures proves it to be wrong as the captain is a reputed person and the crew and captian were in harmony. (inaccurrate facts & missing info.)
The piracy theory is that the crew at the portugal who claims to have found the ship and was rewarded would have killed the people in the ship and plundered the wealth. This again was disproved in the lecture by stating that the crew was very close to the captian and there are no valuable items being carried by the people. (incorrect facts & missing info.)
The lecture throws light on a new dimension that the captian who has never carried alcohol barrels became nervous finding the leakage from the hatches. This was substantiated by the fact that 9 out of 1701 were empty. Also, fire being the most dangerous threat those times, seeing the fumes due to alcohol leakage the captian would have ordered to evacuate. The doubt of the ship not being exploded was cleared by the experiment of a German historian.
The people those escaped in life boats would have died of starvation, thirst and drowning was the conclusion the lecture purports. Thus the lecture contradicts the points in the passage and also provides proofs for its conclusion.

Hello sathya r.

Thanks for attempting onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 2 ~ 2.5

Your first attempt at this task is good. You have managed to pick up on the two key points of dispute as well as the alternative theory offered by the lecturer.

Areas to look at for progress

1. A first element you may want to work on is taking notes from the reading passage. At the moment, you are misattributing supporting details. In addition, you are omitting some details, and this hurst your chances of acquiring important details from the listening.

2. A second area to look at is taking notes from the listening passage. This is being mentioned because the details pertaining to the lecture are incorrect. You need to work on taking shorthand or abbreviations in order to speed up your note taking skills and pay more attention to the lecture.

3. Reread your essay before submitting it in order to eliminate simple spelling and grammar mistakes. You will never get a score of 4 if the language use interfers with the comprehension of the essay.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Delphouk   Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:36 pm

Delphouk wrote:
There are a lot of theories trying to explain the mystery of the “Mary Celeste”. The boat, nowadays called the Ghost Ship, was actually found near the coast of Portugal in 1872 totally abandoned. Nine of the barrels of alcohol present on the ship were found empty. No traces left by the crew and his Captain, Benjamin Briggs.

Two theories are explained in the lecture passage, a mutiny and a piracy.
The mutiny would have been the dramatic consequence of the Captain Biggs’ severity. The crew would have killed the Captain and his family and after that throwing them into the sea. Afterwards, the crew escaped on a lifeboat (because one was missing) with some of the valuables that were present on the boat. The speaker contradicts this theory by saying that the Captain was a respected man in charge of a crew with a very good reputation. Moreover, one finds on the boat all the belongings of the crew. Why do even the pipes would still on the boat? They should have taken with them. (detail wrongly attributed & missing detail)

The second theory mentions in the lecture passage is about a piracy. The ones who find the boat may be responsible of the lost of the Marry Celeste. They could have attacked the boat to take some of the valuables like the alcohol and then killed the crew and the Captain to hide any proofs. This explanation is also contradicts by the speaker who tells us that the ones who find the Marry Celeste were actually close friends with the Captain Benjamin Briggs and so, the piracy doesn’t make any sense. (missing info. & grammar)

Another solution is advanced by the speaker: The crew and the Captain might have panicked because the alcohol could provoke a risk of explosion. It should be the reason why there were some barrels of alcohol that were empty. But finally, they all became so nervous that they took a lifeboat and abandoned the ship. They probably got lost and died in the middle of nowhere.

Thank you for helping us
Delphine

Hi there Delphine.

Thanks for giving onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test a try and for the kind words. They do not come very often, but they are always appreciated. We hope you enjoyed the experience.

Score/Range: 3 ~ 3.5

Your first attempt at this task is a good one. You started off very well, with a fairly strong introduction and a good 2nd paragraph. You would have scored in the 3 range because of the missing information related to piracy and the grammar mistakes.

Areas to look at for progress

1. In your introduction mention and indicate the position held by each of the sources you will be referring to.

2. When the listening section begins ensure to have enough space to take notes. Once the listening section completed compare and contrast you listening and reading notes. Remember to look at the reading again. It is available throughout the test.

3. Pay attention to your verb tenses. You should not be writing in the present form to describe things that happened in the past.

You are not far from a 4, but in order to get there you really need to pay attention to your grammar. A few missing minor details from the listening is acceptable, but difficulty with grammar will ensure that you do not climb out of the 3 range.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Debbie   Sat Jan 12, 2008 7:24 pm

Debbie wrote:
The lecture talked about the theories about what may have happened to the ship, Mary Celeste before it was found abandoned on the coast of Portugal in 1872 without the passengers and crew. The passage explained several reasons that contributed to the disappearance of the people and the abandonment of the ship. The paragraphs below will reiterate these reasons and provide arguments (for or against)based on the lecture.

The first theory is mutiny. The passage states that it is possible that the crew killed the Captain of the ship, Benjamin Briggs and his family because of the Captain’s strictness. Then the crew left with one of the life boats. The lecture disputes this theory, saying that Captain Benjamin Briggs is respected by his crew.

The second theory is piracy. According to the passage, the “crew” that found Mary Celeste in Portugal might be the people responsible for killing all the people on board and disposed them into the sea to get rid of the evidence. They have done this after stealing valuables inside Mary Celeste. Then they took the ship to collect the reward for finding the ship. But the lecture says that the ship’s crew was experienced and so piracy. But the lecture argues that there was no evidence found against the “crew” and all their personal belongings are intact on board

However, the lecture suggests that the reason why 9 of the more than a thousand barrels of alcohol were empty might have been due to a leak. Since the crew has never transported alcohol before, they feared the leak would create a fire and the ship will explode. So they opened the hatches and the potholes and emptied the alcohol barrels. The crew and the passengers then left the ship on life boats. Since they were never found, it might have been that they all got lost in the sea or got caught up in the storm and died.

Hi there Debby.

Thanks for taking a crack at onlinenglish’s free iBT Integrated TOEFL test. We hope you enjoyed the challenge.

Score/Range: 3 ~ 3.5

When looking at your essay we notice that you are quite capable of extracting key details from the reading passage and we also see a good introduction. You would have scored in the 3 range because you are missing some key details from the listening passage used to refute some of the arguments put forward by the reading passage.

Areas to look at for progress

1. Before writing your essay ensure that you have extracted all the key points and details from the reading passage. There are key details for both points that were left out.

2. Ensure that all points mentioned in the reading passage are countered by the listening passage. When taking listening notes listen for key ideas that you have highlighted in the reading to reappear in the listening.

3. Organize your notes. It is important that you organize your notes in order to be able to correlate ideas. Leave a good amount of space between your ideas or take listening notes and reading notes on 2 pieces of paper.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for henanli   Sat Jan 12, 2008 8:21 pm

henanli wrote:
The reading passage presents a range of possible explanations for the mystery of the Mary Celeste, the “ghost ship”; however, the lecture challenges the reading passages theory in several points.

First, the reading passage proclaims that it is the crew who killed the strict captain, Benjamin Briggs and his family, abandoned the ship(why?); however, according to the lecture, this assumptioncan not be true because that according to the record indicates that the captain is a respectful man and crews did not take any belongs from the ship. Beside, the crew has nothing to be suspension either. Second, according to the passage it is possible that the crew who “Found” the ship may be responsible for the mystery. Some of the crew could kill the ship members after they took small amount of valuables from the ship. This has been supported by a record that a British navy officer trying to sue these crew in court;; however, the lecture does not agree with this parite theory either instead it proposed that the abandon of the ship could be due to the leaking of the alchol on ship. It gives a model experiment to support his theory that fire is a very causious thing for a ship and due to the fact that mary Celeste Carried a huge amount of barrels of achohol and even a hint of fire could be the reason foro them to abandon the ship. In addition, the crew all dead for some reason.

Hello henanli.

Thank you for taking a stab at onlinenglish's free iBT integrated TOEFL test. We hope you were able to gain a valuable experience.

Score/range: 2 ~ 2.5

I like your introduction. It is short, but to the point. Exactly what the doctor ordered. You were able to extract some of the key points and details from the reading and listening.

Key areas to develop

1. Be sure to have all the relevant information from the reading passage before the listening passage starts. Be skipping over some details in the reading you are setting yourself up to possibly miss some important details in the listening.

2. Do not add personal opinions. Look at the underlined sentence. All that is required is for you to rehash the information you have gathered.

3. Keep your sentences short. When writing long sentences you are elevating the chances of making grammar mistakes. These grammar mistakes may be minimal, but they may be major and interfere with comprehension.

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PostSubject: Feedback/Score for Sathya   Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:36 pm

Sathya wrote:
The article and the lecture deals with the controversial opinions about the missing people of the ghost ship " Mary celeste". On its way to Italy with efficient captian Briggs and the crew, the ship has been found abandoned with their porches open and the barrels empty.
Two theory are proposed, "Mutiny", where the crew members would have killed the captian and looted some valuable items from the ship and should have escaped. But this theory is proven to be wrong in the lecture giving evidences that the captian is a kind person and he had a good crew. Also, the people didnt carry any valuable items with them, not even their pipes.
The second theory is "piracy" where, the crew who brought the ship back and got the reward would have killed them and plundered some items. To corroborate, the records say that a police officer had even tried to file case against the foul play of the crew. But, this is also proven false in the lecture by stating that the crew captian is a close friend of Briggs.
A new hypothesis is been proposed in the lecture that as the alcohol from the barrels leaked, the crew got tensed. As fire is the major fear of the sailors they evacuated the barrels and flew off with the help of life boats. Ultimately, they would have died of hunger and starvation or drowning.
The new theory is substantiated with the evidences that record showing that alcohol can make flumes but leave the boat unexploded.Also, Briggs had not transported alcohol before tht would have made him and crew panic. These strong evidences make the new theory plausible.

Hi Sathya.

Thank you for taking a shot at onlinenglish's free Integrated iBT TOEFL test. We hope it help you with your test preparation.

Score/Range: 2 ~ 2.5

Good effort has been put into organizing the key points and extracting information from the reading and listening passage.

Areas to look at for progress

1. Review. Look at your work before submitting it. Many errors spelling and grammatical could have easily been avoided.

2. Word choice. Avoid using words that change the meaning of what was initially put forward. For example, 'controversial opinions' and 'proven wrong', it is best sticking to neutra terms or terms that have already been mentioned such as 'theory' and 'refute, contest or rebut'.

3. Be sure to note down all the facts/details surrounding a certain key idea found in the reading. This will enable you to have a more pinpointed focus in the listening.

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PostSubject: Feedback/score fro 420   Sat Jan 12, 2008 10:38 pm

420 wrote:
The lecture and the passages throws a light about the mystery of missing crew member in so called 'ghost ship 'Mary Celeste.Though ,some possible explanation in the passage about the ghost ship contradicts with that the lecture explains.
Fistly,the passage states mutiny can be the reason to demise the Captain Bejimin Briggs by his crew, then the crew left the ship with their lifeboats.Whereas the lecture explains that Cap Benjimin was a reputed and respected among the crews and they like him as a senior.

Secodly, the passage saggest the possibility that the Portugal ,may be the reason to take away all their belonging and killed them.But the lecture oppose that the crew donot have any accessories taken with that can force to kill them .As it is said in the passage, navy officer had punished in court of law for foul crew play,for those who mispresented that they have found a missng ship to collect the reward.

In addition,the lecture explains that the crew might have been frightened due to the powerful fumes produced dut to leaking of the alcohol , as it is said that 9 out of 1701 barrels of alcohol were empty.Because Captain Briggs have never carried alcohol ,they could have left their ship with their life boats and died of hunger ,starvation and thirst.And pasage also saggests that this could be a possible reason behind .

Thus ,the lecture shows the different possibilities behind the mysterius mishap of Cap Berrgs and his crews with resonable explanation ,which in some extent casts doubt with that explained in the passage.

Hello 420.

Thank you for attempting onlinenglish's free Integrated iBT TOEFL test. We hope you were able to pull out some valuable experience and information.

Score/range: 1.5 ~ 2

When looking closely at this effort, we can see that you were capable of extracting some information from the lecture (paragraph 4). I am going to be strict here and score you 1.5 because it is very difficult to understand many of the sentences you wrote.

Areas to look at for progress

1. You need to keep your sentences short and simple. Stick to vocabulary you are familiar with.

2. Practice your paraphrasing skills. Try rewriting simple sentences without losing their meaning. Once this has been accomplished, look at moving to complex sentences and then paragraphs.

3. Review your essay before submitting. There are some simple spelling mistakes that could have been corrected.

I am not going to go into the mechanics of the integrated task because at the moment you have enough things to work on. I wish you the best of luck.

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Yannick O'Neill
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