Answer Submission for Part 2 / Question 7

Last edited by on Tue Oct 16, 2007 7:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

Please post your writing responses for the free online TOEIC writing test task (question 7) here. You do not need to log in or register to post your writing, simply click on POSTREPLY.

Please answer the writing prompt in 10 minutes or less.

Please allow at least a couple of days for an OnlinEnglish.net Administrator to view and respond to your task. Responses will be limited to a score and some generic comments targeting the areas you could improve in.

Good luck!

Guest

Susan.. hello... long time no see...
It is really good to hear from you and to know that you are orginizing such an event. Congrats... your are the one for that.

I am surely attending the the reunion but please let me know when and where it will be held since i have to be prepared. You can send the information to my e-mail address.

Thank you so much for writting and SEE YA.......

lizbeth

Guest

From: Henna Lee
To: Susan Summers
Subject: Hi! Susan
How are you? I am so glad to hear from you. I really want to go there and see you guys. Where will the reunion be opened? and what date?
Can you forward the direction map to me? I look forward to seeing you guys.

Henna

Subject: Score / Feedback for Imsanche Fri Oct 12, 2007 8:31 pm

lmsanche wrote:: Susan.. hello... long time no see...
It is really good to hear from you and to know that you are orginizing such an event. Congrats... your are the one for that.

I am surely attending the the reunion but please let me know when and where it will be held since i have to be prepared. You can send the information to my e-mail address.

Thank you so much for writting and SEE YA.......

lizbeth

Hello Imsanche. Thank you for submitting your writing effort for Q. 7 of the TOEIC test.

Part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points. To receive perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few grammar and spelling mistakes, and be using correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 2/4

You would score 2 due to your spelling and grammar mistakes as well as the register used. I would stick to writing in a more formal manner, with some friendly words included into the letter.

Tips for improvement

1) Punctuation. Ellipsis or suspension points '...' are used to show that you are omitting a word or phrase necessary for a complete syntactical construction but not necessary for understanding. Your use of the ellipsis is unwarranted for the 2 first occurrences and inaccurate for the 3rd occurrence. You should simply be placing a period. Furthermore the following are not punctuation marks '..' '.......'

2) Lexicon. The vocabulary you are using is inappropriate for an email of this nature. The email is very impersonal which indicates that this is more of a formal email. There is no use of slang in the letter nor is there any indication that the two of you were or are friends. The use of the word ‘classmate’ might have thrown you off. In this instance, classmate has more of an acquaintance resonance than friendship. Therefore, you should not use slang in your writing ‘SEE YA’.

3) Format. As indicted above this email is formal, hence you should be replying in a more formal manner. Opening separated from the rest of the text, and a closing.

4) Capitalization and spelling.

Subject: Score / Feedback for Henna Sun Oct 14, 2007 12:40 am

maximus wrote:: From: Henna Lee
To: Susan Summers
Subject: Hi! Susan
How are you? I am so glad to hear from you. I really want to go there and see you guys. Where will the reunion be opened? and what date?
Can you forward the direction map to me? I look forward to seeing you guys.

Henna

Hello Henna. Thank you for submitting question 7 of the TOEIC writing section.

As you may know, part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points.

To receive a perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few to no grammar and spelling errors, and be using the correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 2/4

For this question I would score you a 2 out of 4. You answer the prompts, but you do nothing to develop your response, and that is a very important point to get a score of 4.

Tips to help improve
1)Explain the "why" to your questions. Don’t just state them. This point is the big difference between a 3 and a 4.

2)Make your introductory paragraph polite and friendly. This can be one or two lines. I would prefer two lines.

3) Make your body paragraph(s) focused on your reasons for writing. When asking for information, always explain why you want the information.

4) Have a thoughtful / friendly closing [do not write love].

Guest

Hi Susan,

What a pleasant surprise! How do you do? I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with all of you. It has been ages since we last met.

I'm anxious to meet all of you, really. However, I'm afraid I can't get my car back on time for that dinner as it's badly damaged in a terrible accident last week. Could you give me a lift, please?

Furthermore, may I know what is the dress code of the dinner? Certainly I don't to be underdress or overdress.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Love,
Jie Li

Guest

Hi Susan,

Surely I remember you! it's been a while though, I'll be glad to attend the reunion.

would you be kind enough to send me through this e-mail add (BasicInstinct@yahoo.com) about when and where its going to be held?
One more thing Could ibring a friend with me?

hope to hear from you soon,

Best regards
Albert

Subject: Score / Feedback for Jie Li Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:56 pm

Jie Li wrote:: Hi Susan,

What a pleasant surprise! How do you do? I'm sorry for not keeping in touch with all of you. It has been ages since we last met.

I'm anxious to meet all of you, really. However, I'm afraid I can't get my car back on time for that dinner as it's badly damaged in a terrible accident last week. Could you give me a lift, please?

Furthermore, may I know what is the dress code of the dinner? Certainly I don't to be underdress or overdress.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Love,
Jie Li

Hello Jie Li. Thank you for submitting your writing effort for Q. 7 of the TOEIC test on onlinEnglish.net.

Part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points. To receive perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few grammar and spelling mistakes, and be using correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 3/4

I think this is a good attempt at the task. You would have scored a 3 for this effort. Had you developed your 2nd question further and used a more appropriate register for this email you could have scored a 4.

Methods to improve

My first advice concerns your first question. You are asking Susan for a lift to the graduation reunion, however as a re-introductory letter you shouldn’t be, so personal. At the moment I find it hard to believe that you are both on friendly terms. A question of this nature would appear in a second or third email correspondence between the two of you.

Secondly, I would refrain from using ‘love’ as a complimentary closing for the same reason as mentioned above.

Finally, instead of writing “underdress or overdress”, you should write formal, semi-casual or casual dressing.

Subject: Score / Feedback for Yay Thu Oct 18, 2007 6:06 pm

yay wrote:: Hi Susan,

Surely I remember you! it's been a while though, I'll be glad to attend the reunion.

would you be kind enough to send me through this e-mail add (BasicInstinct@yahoo.com) about when and where its going to be held?
One more thing Could ibring a friend with me?

hope to hear from you soon,

Best regards
Albert

Hello Yay, and thank you for partaking in the 2nd part of the TOEIC test with onlinEnglish.net. You have submitted question 7.

Part 2 of the TOEIC test "Respond to a Written Request" is worth 8 points. The section has two tasks [question 6 and 7] with each task being allocated a maximum of 4 points. To receive perfect score your response needs to effectively address all the tasks in the prompt, using multiple sentences that clearly convey the information, be organized and have appropriate connecting words, have few grammar and spelling mistakes, and be using correct tone and register.

Your score for question 7 = 3/4

I like the way you approached the task. Your introductory sentence is clear and the tone and register you use are appropriate

Areas for improvement

For starters, develop your email. The difference between a score of 3 and a score of 4 in this case is how well you develop your reply. It does not need to be an entire page, but I would be looking at roughly half a page of writing.

Moving on, you need to address your problem with capitalization. Remember to always start a sentence with a capital letter.

Guest

Dear Susan,

Thanks for the invitation to our 15 year graduation reunion. And thanks for orginizing the reunion for us. Yes I do remember you. We were in the same vollyball team back then. I miss those old silly days. It was fun, wasn't it?

Yes I'd like to be in this reunion. I promise I won't miss it for the whole world. I have some questions about it: How much do we need to contribute? Where is the location? And when will it hold?

By the way, do you need some extra help? If so, do not hesitate to let me know.

Look forward to seeing you!

Guest

Good Day!
Yes, I remember you. It's been awhile! 15years that's how long it has been?
Surely I'll be happy to attend the reunion, where and when will it be?. could you please send me through e-mail the details.

One more thing, Could I bring a friend with me at the party?

Best Regards,

Janice

Guest

Hello Susan,

It was a nice surpirse to get your email. Yes, I do remember you and your email brought back all the memories of our school days. I certainly would like to attend the reunion this time.
I wanted to know whether I am allowed to bring a guest? And please let me know if dinner is served, and if so, what is my contribution towards it?
Hope to see you soon,

With best wishes,

Lalita.

Guest

HELLO,
Thanks for remembering me on your reunion day,its an honour to attend that day with you.I'll surely remember you ,how can you just think that i've forgotten you.So e-mail me the timings and as well as the invitation card.
Honourly,

AHEMD.

Guest

Hi Susan Summers,
Greetings!
It would be my privilege to be invited in our coming !5th reunion.Im more than happy to be there. Just email me what i can share for the success of the reunion and where is the event will happen. This would be my opportunity to meet all my highschool mates and see how they are now with their new families.
See you soon and waiting for the details.

Yours,
Ramon Realiza

Guest

To: Susan Summers

Greetings!
It is my pride and honor to be part of this 15th reunion of our highschool batch.Yes, of course I remember you Susan. You are always the President of our class since 1st year. I am happy you come out with this reunion again. It would be my first time to attend since i migrated after our graduation way back 15 years ago.I would be more than happy to meet all our classmates and schoolmates, can't wait to see them.
See you and best regards!

Ramon Realiza

Guest

Hi Susan,
I can't wait to see you again. Of course, I'll try to be there next month. When are you planing to do it? I hope it won't be before June 10th because I'll be in Paris. Do you need any help? If you do, just call me and I'll help you with the organization of the reunion. That must be a lot of work for you. Are you married? Where are you working? Well, we'll talk about it next month!
See you ,
Anne

Guest

FROM:LAMBOU
TO:UPPER NORDIC HIGH SCHOOL ALUMNI
SUBJECT:GRATUATION REUNION
SENT:MAY 20,18:45 P.M.
HI!
WITH YOUR INVITATION YOU PUT ME AGAIN AT AGE OF EIGHTEEN!
IT IS MORE THAN A PLEASURE FOR ME TO COME!
BUT I MUST ASK YOU TWO THINGS:
THE FIRST ONE IS"WHICH DATE?"BECAUSE I TRAVEL A LOT!AND THE SECOND ONE IS"CAN I TAKE WITH ME MY HUSBAND?"I TOLD HIM SO MUCH ABOUT OUR SCHOOL AND OUR MEETINGS SO HE WANTS TO SEE ALL OF YOU!
IF THE IS NO PROBLEM WITH THAT I SUPPOSE I CAN GO THIS TIME!
I WAIT FOR AN ANSWER!

WITH RIGARDS
VENUS!

Posts : 4 Join date : 2008-02-26

Hi Susan,

I am happy to hear that you are planning a graduation reunion and we can have the occasion of meeting to each other. I am really curious to find how our former classmates are doing. Could you let me know how many people have you contacted until now? I am wandering if I can help you finding a restaurant or even a salon and a music band. Do you know if our former teachers are pleased to join us? Have you reached them?

I am looking for you,

Have a nice weekend,

G.

Guest

TO: Susan Summers

FROM: MELISSE

SUBJECT: REUNION GRADUATION

hi Susan!

I will be glad to attend the 15th year graduation reunion. I m pleased to meet my old classmates, it has been a long time we didn t see each other.

in your email you didn t mentioned any details about the reunion so can you tell me when and where the reunion is going to be held, and I am wandering if I can come in with my husband.
I want to know how have you organised the meeting, if I can give you a help finding a restaurant or a band music , just let me know.

well I m looking forward to seeing you soon.

melissa

Guest

Hi!

I've just received you email and glad to hear about the Graduation Reunion. It's a long time since we last met. I hope that everyone can take part in the meeting. However, I would like to know axact time for the meeting so I can arrange my work to attend. Besides,could you tell me how many people confirm for the meeting so far. Also, please let me know if there is anything that I can help.
I look forward to seeing you all.

Best regards,

Guest

Hi Susan,
I remember you very well because you were the funniest classmate I have ever had. Could you tell me where and when will this reunion take place ? I would be very pleased to see you again.

Guest

Hi! Susan Summers.
Thank you for your E-mail.
Time is very fast like arrow. I want to see you and shareour high school memoriesI understand there are lots of things to organize before our reunion. I will willingly help you whatever you want.
please let me know the followings;
1. Date, time and place.
2. What do you want me to help you.
I will wait for your reply. Bye.

Guest

Yes Susan I remember you is school. If there is some way I can help you in organizing or any other effort in helping let me know. What day are you planning to have the reunion? How may people from our class have you been able to contact so far?

Krdevin

Guest

Dear Susan,

I'm so happy to receive your invitation. I'll be there as possible as I can.
Please tell me more details about the Reunion such as what time should I get there or do I need prepare something like food or something?

Hope everybody can present that day.

Sincerely

Kevin 4/18/2009

Guest

Hi Susan

How nice to hear from you! So much time has past since our graduation! I really like the idea of the class reunion and I'll do everything I can to attend.

Can you give me the exact place, date and time of the event, please? Do you already know who else is coming? I'm quite curious to know who I might meet again. Thanks a lot.

I look forward to seeing you guys soon!

Amy

» Answer Submission for Part 2 / Question 6
» Answer Submission for Part 3 / Question 8
» Free online BEC Preliminary Writing Exam Part 1 Task
» Answer submissions for Part 1 / Questions 1-5
» Free iBT integrated writing task submission